(This isn’t just about Galway Girls. Please read if you read any of my work.)
Alright, we’re coming to the end of our journey with Galway Girls. We’ve got the BIG Chapter coming up which will be chapter 50 which has already been named “Gunnin’ For You. There will be at least two to three more chapters following. This officially makes the longest story I’ve ever written. Also, one of the most meaningful as this story touched not only my heart but soul, for many reasons.
I know it wasn’t one of my biggest hits with it came to readers and reviews, but that doesn’t change how I feel. For one thing, I knew the moment I dropped Bella as an MC; I would lose a lot of readers and interest altogether. But we all have to grow and move on at some point. I couldn’t imagine writing nothing but Bella Swan for the rest of my life. I have bigger plans when it comes to my writing future, and I can’t very well do that if I let the opinion of others hold me down. I have to spread my wings and try new things. I hope you all understand this. The end of this story will mark the beginning of new territory for me.
I will be moving on to original work, and hope to have my friends and readers support during this exciting yet nerve-wracking journey. Now does that mean I’m purely done with fanfiction? No. It simply means I will be making MORE time for original stuff and turning to fanfiction when I feel the muse for it. I have plans of returning to some unfinished works as well. Just give me time to try some Bella-free stuff for a while. I think my biggest problem is I wrote soooo many Twilight crossovers I simply got burned out. There is only so much you can do with those characters and with Bella herself. That and my head is filled with ideas that I wish to try that hasn’t anything to do with our favorite fandoms. Who knows maybe I will create something that will have its own fandom one day! I know that’s wishful thinking but would be pretty fucking sweet, right?!
And while I’m being honest, another reason for getting burned out had to do with some personal issues and relationships that went sour or just didn’t pan out. These things killed my muse or love for the story altogether.
I had a habit of writing things for others and putting what I wanted to do on the back burner. A few took advantage of that and weren’t very appreciative of the time and effort I put into those particular stories. They were shrugged off, causing a lot of bitterness on my behalf.
There was a time I felt as if Dr. Harleen Frances Quinzel fanfiction was old news and people had moved on, and I know some of that is true to some degree. But I also know some of you will always be there to support me, no matter and have and will always be around. You’ve no idea how much that means to me. People often mock fanfiction writers and think it a waste of time or merely a hobby and while it is true that it is a hobby. It is also true that hobby can become so much more and that’s what I’m aiming for.
I want to turn something I dearly love into something so much more. I realize it’s a long shot, but you never know unless you try. That’s where this journey is taking me now. I am moving on.
During this, I know I will lose and gain. It’s a chance I have to take, however. So, like my Wolverine in Taking The Plunge, it’s time for me to do that as well. Scared shitless? You bet! But you’ll never get anywhere if you keep to the same ole same ole and let fear hold you back. I’m ready to hold my breath, take that leap, and see where it lands me. And that’s why I’m writing this. There might be a long pause before ya’ll hear from me again, once I finish Galway Girls that is. But that’s simply because I’m building something and it’s going to take all my attention. However, there will be times where I need a break or something familiar to turn to, and that’s when you’ll look in your email and say “Oh shit, she finally fucking updated that chapter to that story that was written years ago!” Like I said, I’m not done with fanfiction. I’m merely trying new things. New things that I hope will lead me into the future I have longed for since I was a child.
Fanfiction itself has been an incredible journey. I’ve gained a lot of friends along the way and lost a few as well. It’s taught me a lot about life in general and made me who I am today. If it weren’t for fanfiction… I would’ve been tempted to smoke again; I would’ve continued in my heavy drinking as that was the only thing I felt I had at the time.
My husband, however, believed in me and my ability to write, when I didn’t.
I told him no one’s going to read my stories! I can’t punctuate correctly or use proper grammar. I told him I never learned those things like most people did. I graduated high school, but the system more or less failed me, at least that’s how I felt. There were so many things I had to teach myself after I graduated. I was embarrassed having to admit those things to my husband, but he told me people that are truly in it for the story would see it for what it was and wouldn’t notice all the mistakes. He did warn me about the grammar Nazis etc… That will do whatever they can to make me feel like I shouldn’t do what I’m doing. And I’ll admit, I got quite a few that made me want to throw the towel in. A few made me cry. Laugh, go ahead. But when you’re as nervous as I was about posting to the public, then get attacked and are told you shouldn’t even be writing, and by more than a handful of people, that shit hurts. I don’t care who you are. I’ve even received the… “English isn’t your first language, is it?!”
I think people often forget that not everyone is fortunate enough to have the education other’s have had, and some have a harder time with things like that. I think it beyond cruel to tell anyone to give up their dream because of something you have a personal issue with. All you have to do is move along to something else. I’m not giving up. I’ve thought about it, sure. But what does that teach my kids?! Or what does that show my husband when he put so much faith in me and has told me I have a gift, despite my lack of knowledge. I realize I’m not as elaborative or fancy even with my words as most are some of my closest friends that write fanfiction are. They sound like fucking Shakespeare or some shit, and I’m over here like simpleton as fuck. Snorts. Okay, I’m not that bad, but I do feel that way at times.
I can say I’ve grown, and I am proud of myself. I can read something from four years ago, versus now and see a HUGE difference. But it also makes me wish I had the time and patience to go back and correct everything I’ve ever written. I HATE reading my old work, and it hasn’t anything to do with the stories themselves. No. It has to do with how bad my punctuation and grammar was then in comparison to now. It also has to do with HOW I write now in comparison to then. I’ve always had ideas flowing through my head, and I take pride in each and every one of those. But I cringe when it comes to my abilities in comparison to others. I’ve tried so hard to write like a few of my more gifted friends but I just can’t. Not only do I not think like they do with their fancy words and descriptions, but I have my own style and way of doing things. It took me some time to appreciate my “unique” (snorts) gifts and abilities, but I eventually did. That’s what led to my final decision to try something bigger. I may fail, but at least I will know I died trying.
My first original work will be – A Girl Named Jack.
This will be my very first attempt at my own comic book universe and story. A Girl Named Jack is a step towards that dream. All I can do is see where this story takes me. I will have more info coming up in a couple of weeks or so and hopefully a banner to tease you with.
I will let you know what actors I have in mind for this story, but please note these are merely my ideas and I cannot use them for the actual story when I go to publish. But you guys will be the first to know who I was thinking about when writing these particular characters. Wish me luck.
Now, I know a few of you will be pissed, and I can understand that. It’s hard to accept change sometimes, but it can also be a wonderful thing. A few of you will continue down this journey with me and root me on, all the way, even if I fail. I know at least ONE of you will be there rain or shine – and I’d be lost without you.
Robin, you inspire and encourage me every day and when in doubt… You’re right there reminding me of the promise I made to myself. You will never know what your friendship means to me. If it weren’t for you, I’d have lost my mind a couple of years ago. You were an angel during my darkest times, and I am forever grateful. Don’t ever doubt what you mean to me.
Thank you for your time, your love, and support, and an amazing four, nearly five years everyone!