I do not own Marvel or Twilight. Please read and then review.
“Wade please! We have to go back!”
He shakes his head and sits down in his recliner.
“Home sweet home.” He sighs and leans back.
“Ok yeah, you just chill and relax! I’ll freak the fuck out!”
Ryan begs at Bella’s feet for attention. She sighs and gives in.
“You spoil the little bastard.” Deadpool complains.
He reaches over and cuts on the TV. She rolls her eyes and gives Ryan a treat. Afterword she sits on the couch. Deadpool looks over as she looks towards the window.
“He’s a cop. He’ll be fine.” He states with assurance.
Ryan hops into Bella’s lap and lies down. Bella says nothing. She simply lay down. When a couple hours pass, Bella hops back up. She paces around a bit.
“I can’t just sit here Wade! I have to know he’s ok!”
Deadpool sighs as though annoyed. He vanishes from the recliner. Her jaw drops in disbelief.
“OH COME THE FUCK ON!”
She snaps throwing her hands into the air.
“I swear to GOD WADE!”
Deadpool waits until the police are gone. He stays hidden he also hurriedly grabs his katanas before the police find them. After all is clear he welcomes himself into Charlie’s house. Charlie turns to see Deadpool on his recliner, beer in hand.
“Jesus!” Charlie jumps startled at first.
Charlie raises his brows and shakes his head.
“I need something to tell the little wifey. She’s all flipping out and such.”
Charlie sighs and paces around a bit.
“Just let her know I got it covered, everything is fine.”
Deadpool nods and comes to his feet. Charlie clears his throat.
“I’m not going to sugar coat this. You’ve got to be the most disrespectful, foul-mouthed and mentally unstable being I’ve ever met!”
Deadpool puts a hand to his heart and smiles.
“Aw, gee dad you really think so?”
Charlie rolls his eyes.
“However… In some disturbed sort of way I can see you love my daughter. You would have let me die otherwise and you wouldn’t have taken those hits for her. That’s twice now you’ve saved her life. I suppose I owe you…”
“I already got what I want from you. So we’re even.”
Charlie shakes his head and points to Deadpool crossly.
“My daughter isn’t some god damn prize!”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I couldn’t think of anything I want more. Sorry founders keepers, losers weepers. I’m afraid you can’t have her back. She’s a keeper! That’s just something you’re going to have to come into terms with.”
“She’s all I got!” Charlie shouts.
“Ditto, all the more reason you won’t win this.” Deadpool declares before he disappears.
“YOU DICK!” Bella yells as her husband returns.
He rears back.
“Um bitch?” He fires back looking confused.
“Did you just call me a bitch?!”
“I’d never Stella baby you know that.”
“Ugh, you are such a dick!”
Gasping… “Bitch!” He retorts.
“See you just said it again.”
“Come on Stella babe, I haven’t any idea what you’re talking about.”
She looks to him in a testing matter.
“Dick…” She practically murmurs.
“Bitch…” He undertones in return.
She covers her mouth trying not to laugh. She clears her throat remembering she was still pissed with him.
“Where the hell did you go?!”
He raises his brows as he put up his katanas.
“Well chipper aren’t we baby?!”
“Don’t you baby me Wade Wilson. You just up and vanished!”
“Daddy said to tell you he’s fine. That he got it all taken care of.”
She covers her mouth once she realizes.
“Shit…” She whispers feeling like a horse’s ass.
“Well fuck…” He replies shrugging his shoulders again.
She looks to him oddly as he kicks back on his recliner again.
“I’m sorry Wade baby, I…” She closes her eyes for a moment.
“I thought you just left, because you didn’t want to argue.”
Bella looks to the floor in shame. They appear on the couch. He has the TV on Jersey Shore. His arm was wrapped around her.
“So he’s really ok?”
“Yep his house looks like complete and utter shit. It’s like Swiss cheese now babe. It’s finally got character now! Looks soooo much better than before!”
He smacks her on the butt.
“Hmm…” He presses himself against her.
Bella tries watching the show, but didn’t get it. She thought the characters were loud, annoying, and immature as hell.
“You really like this show?”
He nods, but runs his hands along her sensually.
“You don’t find it the least bit bothersome?”
“The only thing I find bothersome, is the amount of clothes you’re currently wearing. It’s so frustrating.”
She giggles a bit as he starts humping her and groping her beneath her shirt.
“Why do you wear these silly bras?” He bellyaches.
He works his way beneath her bra. They begin to heavily make out. He unfastens her jeans and places his hand inside her panties.
“I’m going to burn your underwear. They’re nothing, but cockblockers.”
“You honestly want me to go to school without underwear?”
“Don’t bother me none.”
“I don’t think they’d allow me in the doors like that.”
“Good, I don’t want you to go anyhow.”
“Wade…” She goes to argue this.
She takes back a breath as he starts fingering her.
“Shh…” He whispers and he slightly lifts his mask.
“I’m reaaallllyyy fucking horny… We’ll talk later.”
He rolls her over and yanks off her pants and panties. He moans out as she takes her hand and starts stroking his dick.
He slightly bucks his hips along with the motion of her hand around him. He starts petting her head in a hinting matter. She grins and scoots down a bit.
“Hmmm… Just keep sucking baby.”
He was rock solid and vibrating in her mouth. He played with her tits as she pleasured him.
“Fuuuuccckkk.” He groaned out as he watched.
He pulled out of her mouth and placed himself inside her. He taunts her at first by slowly moving about, with a grin on his face.
“Wade please…” She pleaded with her back arched.
“Something wrong babe?”
“Stop teasing!” She growled.
He raised his brows.
“Hmm…” He continued torturously.
“Dammit Wade really fuck me!”
“Now we’re talking. Demand baby and you shall receive!” His thrusts became harder.
“Why do you need to go to school when you could stay home and have me fucking you all day long babe? Hell I’ll home school ya! Get you a nice little school girl outfit, a ruler for spanking… oh fuck yeah…” He pulsated even more in thought.
“Fuck baby… please? I got plenty of things to teach you.” He slams into her more robustly as he gruffly says this.
The idea of her in a little school girl uniform had him riled up.
“I’ll be your professor and you can sit in my lap. Bra and panties are NOT allowed at my school. You will be greatly punished if you’re even caught wearing them.”
He feels her summiting at his dirty little fantasy talk.
“You fucking like that don’t you?”
“God yes baby…” She coos.
He wiggles his brows. He sucks on her perky breasts as he continues.
“Fucking come for me!” He begs as he felt himself about to come.
“NOW baby come!” Bella gushes so hard she literally felt slight dizziness.
Deadpool lets out a long strand of curse words as he pulls out and sprays her with his seed. He aimed right for her tits and tummy.
“Shit Wade…” She commented seeing how massive he’d shot.
He smugly grins. He’s the one caught off guard as she starts licking some of it off her own breasts. She smiles and watches his reaction.
“Holy fucking hell…” He stood at attention again at the sight.
“Bathe yourself all you want dirty girl.”
He looked to her curiously.
“Can you suck on your own breasts?”
She looks to him oddly. She’d never tried it. Bella shrugs and was curious herself. His eyes damn near popped out of that mask of his.
“DAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMNNNN.” He shouts as she achieves the goal.
“HAWT MAMMA! Daddy likey!”
She giggles and shakes her head blushing a bit. Bella rolls out from under him.
“Where you going?”
“To take a shower.”
“But I’m horny again, Stella babe!”
“Then you know where to find me.” She taunts and keeps walking.
“I’m gonna get laid… AGAIN! Yes! Awesome! Best day ever!”
He tags along behind her like a kid at a toy store. He starts stripping down to nothing.
Bella wakes up to Deadpool’s head on her chest, he was sound asleep. Ryan was sleeping between her legs. She smiles and quietly makes her way out of the bed. Bella got dressed and made her way to the payphone. She checked on Charlie and was thankful to hear that all was well. She wondered how he managed to cover it all up. She could only imagine the story he had to elaborate in order to get away with all this. Still, she feared for his life.
“Dad… Don’t you think they’ll send more?”
“You just let me worry about that. To be honest I think they sent all they had. They weren’t expecting me to have a merc over as a guest. Rather threw off their game. Honestly Bells, I believe it’s all good now.”
She sighs praying he was right.
“Why did you bring that guy to your house?”
Charlie sighs on the other end.
“I just wasn’t thinking hun. Trust me it won’t happen again. I was desperate to get you back is all I can tell you. I’m sorry, I know I screwed up and it was pretty stupid.”
“Dad, just promise me you’ll never do something like that again.”
He takes in a breath.
“Bells hun, I can’t do that. If I hadn’t hired your husband you’d be dead. As much as I hate it, you’d have never met him. I can tell you mean it when you say you love him. I’ll just never understand your reasoning.”
She softly laughs.
“I know, but it’s true.”
“I love you kiddo and I’m sorry about everything. I never meant to put you in even more harm’s way.”
“I’m just glad we were there dad. Things could have gone much worse. You know they wouldn’t have let you walk away.” She said with chills.
Charlie clears his throat.
“Yeah, well it’s all over now. I gotta get to the office Bells, but I’m glad you called. Take care.”
“You too dad, love you.”
She hangs up and heads to the store. Bella grabs some groceries and other things needed for the house and for her to start school tomorrow. Once she returns to the house her husband was already gone. On the counter was a note written in red crayon. She softly laughed and shook her head. It read… Sugar daddy gawt kalled out. Beside the note was a solid silver gun with a red bow. Her name and a long stem rose were engraved into the gun. A genuine beam came to her face as she took it into her hands. She ran her fingers along the engraving.
“Cool…” She uttered softly.
She saw it was already loaded, a box of shells were also on the counter. She narrowed her eyes towards the butterfly knife it too had her name and the handle was sapphire.
“Only you Wade.” She whispered and stuffed the knife into her blue jean pocket.
The gun she put in the back of her pants and pulled down her shirt over it. She remembered all too well, how the Cullen’s just welcomed themselves inside. She took in a nervous breath as she looked towards the window. She pushed it all back and began some breakfast. Bella was about to start some eggs when she heard something. She froze and looked around nervously. It was a song. She reared back recognizing the song. Close To You by the Carpenters and it was coming from a drawer in the kitchen. Bella pulled out the drawer to see a cell phone. A picture of Deadpool with a thumbs up was on the ID calling. She quickly answered it.
“About time! ” He sighs on the other end.
“You got me weapons and a cell phone?”
“Yep! Cause I love you, You’re welcome!”
“I love you too Wade. You’re awfully exuberant, must be on a job.”
She winces as she hears him fire off a gun.
“How’d you guess?”
“You just have that certain flare to your voice.”
He chuckles a bit.
“Uh oh been spotted, gotta go babe. I’ll be home soon.”
“It’s ok it’s just an RPG (Rocket propelled grenade).”
“Don’t worry I’m almost entirely certain I’ll live babe!”
The line goes dead. Bella starts freaking out. Moments later she gets text with a picture. She rears back as it downloads. It was a picture of his dick and it said top of the morning to ya!
She takes in a breath and pinches the bridge of her nose.
“Idiot… I can’t believe I’m married to an assassin. Hell, I can’t believe I’m accepting of this… What’s wrong with me? My husband’s out making bank off killing people and I’m making breakfast like I’m fucking Martha Stewart?!”
She laughs in spite of herself. Once she’s done she places everything on the table. Sure enough Deadpool appears in one of the chairs. He places his guns on the table.
He starts devouring his plate. After he’s done he looks to his wife in wonder.
“Where’d you learn to do shoot like that?”
She looks to him completely puzzled. He leans back after he pulls down his mask. His arms were folded about his chest. His head was tilted slightly.
“What are you talking about?”
“Your shooting… it’s pretty dead on. You hardly ever miss. I caught that headshot you fired.”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
He shakes his head.
“How can you not notice? You’re like bad ass. Not even close to me of course, but then again no one is.” He smugly announces.
“But still you’re like hawt with a gun!”
He nods as she bites into her biscuit.
“So did papa cop teach you?”
She shakes her head. He looks to her bewildered.
“So who taught ya?”
“Um no one…” She says with a shrug.
“Nah, babe not buying it. Someone had to teach ya.”
“I just shoot Wade. I don’t even think about it.”
“Can you teleport me back to Forks today?”
He rears back disapprovingly.
“Aw man we have to go back there?”
“My transcripts remember?”
“But I thought you were going to stay here and be my little love dumpling slave?”
“Wade baby, you know I have to go to school.”
“Why? I mean seriously? Why torture yourself? I say you don’t go! Stay home have fun! Open up a Facebook account!”
Bella softly laughs.
“What are you afraid of Wade?”
“Afraid? Now you know me better than that. I don’t fear nuthin’ baby!”
She nods and comes to her feet. Bella starts cleaning off the table and does the dishes. After she’s done she crawls into her husband’s lap afterword. He was polishing his guns.
“Ow…” He gently pushes her up and takes out the gun from her pants.
She laughs realizing she’d forgotten.
“It’s not everyday I have my wife poking me with her gun.”
Bella snorts in laughter.
“That’s so wrong.”
“I know so don’t do it! What would the guys say?! What would they think?!”
He twirls her around facing him.
“So you really want to do this?”
She nods. He shakes his head.
“Dammit. Are you ever going to let me have my way about anything?”
A playful smirk forms along her face.
He nods and spanks her ass as she comes to her feet. Without warning he grabs hold of her. They appear in Forks.
“I don’t know where anything is.” He explains as they appear at Charlie’s.
“It’s ok we’ll take my truck from here.”
Bella finds the hidden keys Charlie had for her in case she ever lost hers. He was already at work.
“You might just wanna stay in the truck.” She mentions as they’re at a red light.
“Not so sure how they’d take you walking in like that.”
“Think about it Wade baby it’s a school. And you’re a walking arms dealer.”
“Nah, these aren’t for sale!”
“So am I. I’m not giving up any of my precious’s.”
She sighs with slight irritation.
“Look if you’re going in could you at least leave your weapons in the truck. I really need these transcripts.”
“Fine!” He bitterly folds his arms about in defeat.
“You’re always picking on me! I can never have any fun.”
“This truck is terrible.”
She covers her mouth in laughter.
“You’re really mean!”
After she pulls into the parking lot, she leans over and pecks him on the cheek. She starts taking away his weapons.
“Yep and you don’t complain.”
“Ooooohh good one!” He says happily.
She gives him a wink then exits the truck. He tags along behind her. When they get inside she sees the students were already in class. She takes in a breath of relief. She sits her husband down in a seat beside the office.
“I’ll be right back.”
He stomps his feet about childlike. She only prayed it didn’t take long and that he’d be there when she got out. Like she feared it took a few minutes. She waited impatiently knowing Deadpool would get bored if they didn’t hurry it up. Finally, after 20 minutes the secretary hands over her paperwork. Bella nearly runs out of there. Like she feared Deadpool was nowhere to be found.
“Son of a bitch…” She utters exasperatedly.
She was about to head outside and hope he was back in the truck. Only she starts to hear something, coming directly from the library. She comes to a complete halt in the hallway. She turns towards the library. She flinches in thought. Bella takes in the deepest of breaths. She apprehensively makes her way to the library. Once she opens the door she stands there in shock.
There was her husband doing Gundam Style in the library. He’d even had the librarian and a couple of teachers going along with it. She covered her mouth as she saw Mike, Eric, Angela, and Jessica in the room as well. All her old friends actually were in the room. As it got to the verse hey sexy lady… he pointed directly at her. Bella’s entire face flushed with a bright red hue. Her friends turned towards her.
“Bella?!” Angela hopped up.
Eric and Mike smiled and waved. Angela hugged the daylights out of her.
“Oh my God where have you been? I’ve missed you so much!”
She goes to answer only Deadpool grabs her and starts dancing with her.
“Deadpool…” She growls not calling him by his real name in public.
He dances around in a circle as the music blares throughout the library. Her friends cut her the strangest of glances.
“You’re so dead.”
He nods, but continues. He sits her down in a chair as he finishes his little dance number.
“What in the hell?” Jessica rudely remarks looking towards Bella.
Bella sighs and slumps down in her chair. Her other friends make her way over.
“Do you know that guy?”
She laughs damn near hysterically. She swallows back before answering.
“How?” Angela questions curiously.
Bella clears her throat somewhat.
Jessica grabs her hand.
“What the hell is that Bella?”
Mike looks to Bella in utter shock.
“Dude, are you like married?!” Mike announces looking ill.
“To him.” She points.
Jessica starts laughing.
“Oh that’s rich.”
“You’re married to freaking Deadpool?” Eric states in sheer excitement.
She looks to Eric strangely.
“Um you know who he is?” Bella questions.
“Only like the coolest freaking assassin that ever lived!”
Eric puts his arm around Bella.
“Think you can get me his autograph.”
“Wait you seriously know who Deadpool is?”
Eric nods with a huge beam to his face.
“He’s awesome! I can’t believe you’re married to a MERC! You’re my new best friend. Please get me his autograph babe, come on!”
Angela looked lost. Jessica and Mike snarled back with disgusted face directed at Bella.
“Who gets married in high school?!” Jessica sarcastically remarks.
“I bet you’re pregnant aren’t you?!”
“Um yeah that’s it Jessica. I’m having twins can’t you tell?”
Angela starts laughing. Bella taps her husband on the shoulder as he passes by.
“Eric wants an autograph.”
Deadpool puts a hand to his heart. He gasps back.
She nods with a grin.
“Huge…” She says with pride.
“Ah, where is this awesome Eric at?”
She points. Eric waves sprightly. She laughs as Deadpool slides across a table over to Eric. He signs his shirt and a journal of his. They high five one another and talk for a bit. Bella ignores Jessica’s continuing rant of disapproval. Mike rolled his eyes and walked away.
“As you can see not a whole lot has changed.” Angela mentions taking notice of how Jessica and Mike were acting towards her.
“It’s not the same without you. Are you coming back?”
Bella takes in a breath.
“Actually no, I’ll be finishing out the semester in New York.”
Angela’s eyes widen.
“Let’s face it Angie. I never quite fit in around here. Time for me to see what else is out there.”
Deadpool makes his way over and flips Bella over his shoulder, just as the principal enters the library.
“Um now might be a good time to teleport us to the truck.”
Bella utters seeing the hateful look on the principal’s face. Deadpool chuckles and pops her on the rear. They appear at the truck. Bella hurriedly gets inside the truck and starts it. Deadpool hops in the back. She giggles as she peels out of the drive.
“Warning next time babe!” He declares knocking on the window.
“Sorry!” She calls out, but with laughter as she exits the parking lot.
She continues to laugh about it all as they head back to Charlie’s. When they get the truck back to Charlie’s, Deadpool hops out. He opens the door for Bella. She raises her brows.
“Did you just do something chivalrous?”
“What did you call me?!” He asks as if offended.
She shakes her head and places her arms around his neck.
“Let’s go home Wade baby.”
“Can we change the channel now?”
“No! You always get to watch Cribs or Jersey Shore. It’s my turn.
“This is sooooo lame.”
“Ugh Wade please? Just shhhh… I really like this movie!”
He folds his arms about his chest.
“That’s it we’re getting two TV’s!” He continues to bitch.
Bella sighs she lays her head in his lap and plants his hand over her boob. Something she learned usually pacifies him for a little while. Sure enough he grows silent as he squeezes her breast. She realizes that it’s almost the end of the movie and he hasn’t mouthed off anymore. He also wasn’t squeezing her breast. His hand was still there, but for Deadpool he was surprisingly very quiet and still. She looked up and swore she heard him sniffling. She grinned.
“Are you crying?”
He clears his throat a bit.
“You’re like totally crying. I can hear you.”
“Shut up, Deadpool never cries EVER!”
She shrugs and rolls over with a giggle.
“That’s bullshit!” He shouts at the end of the movie, causing Bella to jump.
“She should have chosen fucking Erik WHAT A BITCH! SHE LED HIM ON THE LITTLE TWO TIMING WHORE!”
Bella covers her mouth and hides her face into his lap as he gripes about the movie.
“Fucking Raoul sucks! Pansy ass dipshit motherfucker!”
Bella was damn near bleeding she was biting her cheek so hard to keep from losing it.
“Erik went out and beyond for her! He should have killed Raoul! He should have been tapping that by now!”
Her eyes widen as he tosses the remote across the room. She takes in a breath and rolls over facing him.
“She was going to choose Erik, but he threatened the life of Raoul in order to try and get what he wanted. He feared she wouldn’t choose him in the end. However, she’d already made up her mind. She loved Erik.”
“I can’t believe you’re defending her!”
Bella was trying so hard to take this seriously; she could tell it really had him riled up. Nevertheless, she really began to put everything into Wade’s perspective. It made perfect sense to her. Once she understood she raised up. She straddled him.
“I’m not. I’m simply saying why she did, what she did. I don’t condone it. I always felt she truly loved Erik more than Raoul so it never made sense to me. It should have ended with them together.”
“You’re just saying that!”
She shakes her head sincerely.
“Actually no I’m not. The first time I saw it I wasn’t happy about how it ended either.”
“Then why do you watch it?!”
“Because I like the music and the Phantom.” She admits with shrug.
Bella takes off his mask. She grazes her fingers along his face. She eagerly kisses him.
Deadpool: (Clearing his throat)What?
Author: (grinning) Are you crying again?
Deadpool: I don’t cry. Hell, my tear ducts don’t even work! Don’t be an idiot!
Author: Your tears are seeping through your mask.
Deadpool: They are not! (Takes out onion from suit and starts chopping it up)
Author: Yeah that’s more believable.
Deadpool: Son of a bitch ass motherfucking douchebag freaking WHORE!
Author: WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE BLEEDING ALL OVER MY WORK! DAMMIT DEADPOOL OUT! NOW!
Deadpool: (sighs) takes finger he’d chopped off by accident and runs out the door.
“I woke up in the middle of the night and you were gone. Where were you?”
“Nothing…” He mumbles.
“What did you do?”
She sighs and turns on the TV as she gets ready for school. The news was on and it showed Emmy Rossum (actress that plays Christine from Phantom of The Opera) had been shot. Bella’s eyes widen and her jaw drops. Her poptart lands on the floor as she continues to watch. It described the shooter looking as though her husband.
“It really hurts to sit down.” The actress declares as she was shot in the ass. “The man in the mask called me a cheating whore!”
Deadpool picks up the poptart from the floor. He dusts it off and starts eating it.
“No sense in it going to waste.”
He says with a shrug. Bella turns to her husband without words she just stared at him.
“What…?” He asks innocently.
She sighs and finishes getting ready.
Bella stands before the high school. Deadpool starts laughing. He smacks her on the ass before he teleports back home.
“Have a good day sweety lumpkins! Sugar daddy will pick you up after school!” He vanishes and Bella sighs.
“Well here goes nothing…”