Chapter 5 Pissing Off The Merc

Chapter 5

I do not own Marvel or Twilight. Please read and then review.

The man stirs awake, his vision blurry. He sees Charlie sitting before him. Charlie was leaned back in his chair. His gun was aimed at the man.

“You ready to talk?”
The drug dealers head sways about. He was average sized white guy about his 30s or so. Tattoos covered his body. He wore the saggy pants and a wife beater (aka white tank top). He half laughed even through his fear.

“Dude, like I said. I’m not gonna talk. No matter what you do to me. To be perfectly honest, I don’t even know the guys real name. And I sure as fuck don’t know where he lives. You honestly think a fucking merc tells anyone where he lives?”

Charlie nods, but decks the guy across the face. He grabs him by the roots of his hair.

“Give me a name!”

The guy spits blood into Charlie’s face. Charlie repeatedly punches him to the point of drawing blood to his own knuckles.

“A NAME!”

“Just kill me!” The guy pleads.

“Just get it over with! Take that fucking gun and blow my god damn brains out!”

Charlie grabs the gun he puts it to his head. The guy shuts his eyes waiting for it. Charlie’s eyes cut towards a picture of Bella. He winces in thought. Charlie shakes his head and brings his gun back up. He runs the tip of the gun through his hair and paces around.

Charlie sighs knowing this guy wasn’t about to talk no matter what. He blindfolds him and drags him back to the truck. He takes him into the middle of nowhere and drops him off. He doesn’t say another word. He hops back into his truck and heads back home.


Deadpool awakes to see Bella still curled up to his chest. He narrows his eyes a bit. He rubs his bare face and looks around the room. He gently rolls Bella over. He hurriedly grabs his mask and places it back on. He turns and takes a moment to appreciate Bella’s nudity. He’d the perfect kitty shot as she had with one of her legs hiked up. Her face was buried into his pillow. There was a small trail of blood from her losing her virginity. Last night replayed in his head.

He started to wonder things such as if she was a spy. What was she up to? He wasn’t sure whether to trust this or not. She turned over and stretched out. He had an erection from hell as he observed her. He takes in a breath. He forces himself out of the room. He’d done some research on her and her father before he even took the job. Still, he took out his laptop and began more. He saw she was still in high school. She was indeed only 18. He leaned back realizing there wasn’t any way she could be a spy if so it was the best cover ever. He knew her father was a cop which only added to the thrill of all this. He sought it a challenge.

The shower started and he turned that direction.

Bella scrubbed down and thought about last night. She nibbled upon her lip a bit. A smile formed on her face. She winced a bit at the soreness below as she cleaned herself. Once she was finished she reached for her towel. Only it was handed to her. She peeked out of the curtain. Deadpool was standing there with a bag full of clothes.

He sits them down on the floor.

“Did you steal those?”

He shrugs.

She sighs and steps out of the shower. Bella softly laughs as she goes through the bag. There were women clothes of all sorts of sizes. Some still had the ink tag on them. She knew she shouldn’t approve of stealing. Her father was a cop after all. However, she knew this was his way of trying to help. So to her it was rather a sweet notion. She clears her throat a bit.

“Um thank you.”

He nods and exits the bathroom. She finds an outfit that actually fits her. It was a baby blue sundress, not her usual style. It felt nice though to be in some women’s clothing again. She fixed her hair and brushed her teeth. There were no bras or panties in the bag. She doubted he’d even consider it if he’d thought about it. Bella steps out and makes her way to the kitchen. She gets a glass of water and looks over to see Deadpool was on the internet again.

He saw he had another job lined up. He pulled up his Facebook account again. He looked to Bella. Bella was petting “Ryan”. Deadpool tilted his head. He came to his feet and hit the shower. Afterword he began to get ready. He came out to see Bella had breakfast on the table.

He shook his head on this. He grabbed one of his guns and went to aim it at her. She turned to him and sighed. He looked to be having some sort of inner battle. He lowered it back down and shook his head.

“Really?”

“Who are you?!” He demanded and paced around a bit.

“You know who I am!” She fired back.

“I can’t believe you!” She pointed at him furiously.

She makes her way over and takes the gun from his hand. She throws it in the trash.

“I’m only going to say this once. Hopefully, even through your fucked up mind you can comprehend it! You ever aim a gun at me again. I swear to GOD I will blow you’re dick off! You can’t just go around treating women like that. I damn sure won’t have you treating me like that! I have feelings you know!”

“I just polished that gun.”

“Well you’re about to not have one to polish!”

He grabs his plate of food in a hissy fit. He storms out of the apartment. He starts eating his breakfast as he heads to his next job. He stops however and looks back.

“Ah, dammit I forgot to cuff her! I can’t go back in there now it’ll ruin my exit!”

He sulks and heads on out.

Bella sighs and finishes her breakfast. She then does the dishes and starts cleaning again. She gathers the laundry about the house and digs around for some quarters. She found a fifty dollar bill and decided to use that to make some quarters, get laundry detergent and a couple bras and some panties. Bella pets Ryan and gives him a treat before she exits the apartment. She heads on to the laundry mat a couple blocks away. She washes Deadpool’s bed sheets and clothes. While they’re washing she looks to a nearby payphone in thought. She takes in a breath. Bella finally decides on calling Charlie.

Charlie answers the phone. He was half out of it he was dead on his feet. He hadn’t slept in a few days.

“Dad…”

He nearly falls off the recliner at the sound of her voice.

“BELLS!” His heart sank.

She swallows back hearing the distress in his voice.

“I’m ok dad…”

“Where the hell are you kiddo?”

She still wasn’t exactly sure about that. For some stupid reason the thought never occurred to her to ask. From the looks of things she figured New York. Then again she also knew she couldn’t tell her father where she was. It wasn’t just her life that was in danger. She knew why Deadpool was keeping her here. The other Cullen’s were still out there…

“I’m not sure to be honest. But I’m fine ok. I don’t want you worrying about me.”

“Were you really kidnapped?”

A nervous laugh escapes her mouth. She knew that Charlie could be tracking her call. He was a cop after all.
“Dad I gotta go. I love you.”

She hangs up and leans her forehead against the phone.

“I’m sorry…” She whispers in thought of Charlie.

Bella heads back to the laundry mat and finishes the laundery.


Deadpool zooms in on his target. He was lying down with his sniper rifle. Once the guy steps better into view he fires.

“BANG!” He shouts happily.

Everyone around the man screams and looks around. Deadpool chuckles to himself. He watches as they look around trying to find who shot him.

“I’m over here!” He says from the roof of the building he’s on.

“Yeah you can’t see me. You’re like little ants from here.”

He hums to himself as he starts to put everything up. He returns to the apartment and looks around. He sighs and shakes his head.

“I knew I should have cuffed and hogtied her!”

He folds his arms about his chest bitterly.

“Well that was short lived. Story of my life…”

He sits down on the couch. He pouts for a bit and curses under his breath. Ryan hops onto the couch.

“Well it’s just you and I again.”

The dog whimpers and lies down.

“Ah, who needs her!”

The dog raises back up and growls at him.

“Shut up Ryan!” He mouths and flicks his ear.

He grabs his laptop and pulls up his Facebook account. He puts the status back to single. He slams the laptop shut. He starts watching an episode of cribs.

After another hour, Bella steps back into the apartment. She had a basket full of laundry. He turns to her with raised brows. She pulls the door shut and brings the laundry over and sits it on the dining room table.

“I thought you ran off.”

She shrugs.
“I just did some laundry.”

He nods and comes to his feet he takes off to the bedroom. She calls out curiously.

“What’s your problem?”

“I can’t shoot you!” He shouts back childlike.
She grins as she starts putting away some of the laundry.

“Fair enough…” She wits.

He stomps his feet and returns to the couch. Bella turns as she’s putting away kitchen towels. She sees him pull up his Facebook account again. He switches his status back to in a relationship. He makes the fist pump motion and starts watching videos of funny animals. He starts laughing and pointing to the screen. Even Ryan looks over and is watching. She smirks, but says nothing as she finishes putting the laundry away.

Once she’s done she sits beside him. He shows her some video of a cat attacking a dog. She smiles and shakes her head. He was just like a kid at times. The man had multiple personalities. She was learning each of them and how to deal with them all. He puts his arm around her, but his hand goes right down her dress. He squeezes her breast. He frowns and pulls back her dress.

“A BRA?!” He says as if offended.

She giggles a bit.

“I found some money and used it to get some bras and panties.”
“WHY?!” He says as if in suffering.

“Because I’m not a slut?”

He has a good laugh at this.

“That’s not what it seemed last night.”

“Wade…”
“Yes?”

“It’d be wise to shut your trap.”

He nods and comes to his feet. She narrows her eyes a bit. She hears a snapping sound from one of the back bedrooms. He returns and sits back down.

“Trap closed.”

She softly laughs. He grabs Bella and has her straddling his lap. He firmly grasps her hips and moves her about him. He takes her dress and pulls it over her head. He tosses it about the room. Deadpool unclasps her bra. He grins under that mask.

“Bewbs!”

He motorboats them. “Hmm, I love bewbs.” He lifts her up just enough to pull himself out. He pulls her panties to the side. Bella instantly covers her mouth to keep from damn near screaming out. It didn’t hurt now. If anything it was intensely pleasurable. He moves her hand from her mouth. He wanted to hear her scream out. Hell he prayed she was a screamer. And sure enough she was… Slurs of profanities left her lips. He rocked her about him.

“Fuck yeah…” He groaned out feeling her gushing below.

Bella gently lifts his mask freeing his lips. She kisses him. At this he was pumped up. He lay her down and gripped the arm to the couch. He went more robustly along her. He had her legs spread about. Her eyes widen as he got even more into it. She could see he was far more comfortable than last night. He growled out significantly.

“You feel so fucking good.”

Her heart did a funny pattern skip. She felt herself climaxing again.

“God damn come for me again!”

He had her in overdrive on how dirty he was talking.

“Shit!” He uttered feeling her yet again.

“Yeah you like fucking me don’t you Wade baby.” She covered her mouth in complete shock. She couldn’t believe she just said that.

Deadpool literally shot off like a rocket at her words. He couldn’t control it if he wanted to. That had him completely GONE! He chuckles a bit and shakes his head as he lingers over her.

“I knew it.”

“What?”

“You’re a little slut in bed.”

“Wade…” She warns with a grin.

“Hmm…” He kisses her lips again and teasing strokes himself a couple more times within her before pulling out.

He lies beside her on the couch. They continue to make out a bit. Bella giggles a bit as he fondles her breasts. He sucks and licks on them.

“Now this I could do all day. You got nice perfect bewbs.”

She smiles and shakes her head.

“Perfect huh?”

He nods. She runs her fingers along his scars.

“So what’s the story? How’d you get these?”

Deadpool: I knew you were going to pull that shit!

Author: (sighing)

Deadpool: No one wants to hear the stupid Weapon X story all over again. You’re not going for one of those stories where there’s a “moral” at the end are you?! If so you suck! The sex yeah HAWT! But cut out the sappy bullshit.

He reaches over and tries to erase it. Author slaps at his hand.

Author: Knock it off!

Deadpool: This story is getting terrible! I knew I should have hunted down the 50 Shades of Grey author!

Author: (rolls eyes and throws a shiny red ball)

Deadpool: Like that’s really going to work on… OOOO BALL!

Back to the story…

“Chimichangas!”

“Um what?”

“We should go get some chimichanga’s. I worked up an appetite.”

“Wade… That’s not what I asked.”

“Why would I want to go through pain? When I could feel my tummy with mouthwatering Bewbs!”

“I thought you wanted chimichanga’s.”
“Oooh that does sound good.”


Charlie leans back in his recliner. He wasn’t sure what to make of any of this. He’d tried to trace the call, but she wasn’t on long enough. He felt disappointed in the fact that she wouldn’t tell him where she was. He and Bella had a few code words for when she was in danger. Something he’d picked up on the field. She hadn’t given him any clues about her being in immediate danger. He paid extra attention to everything he could make out and the tone of her voice. He pinched the bridge of his nose. So whoever had her wasn’t causing her harm or so it seemed. Still, he wasn’t giving up.


Bella laughs as he twirls her around. They’d both had their stomachs full of fried burritos and beer.

“We really shouldn’t be drinking so much.” She says as she staggers around.

“Nah, we’re good!”

He puts his arm around her as they walk around the city.

“So I was right we are in New York.”

“Yep.”

“Long ways from home…” She utters in thought.

“Ah, who needs Washington?”

She half laughs.

“I’m sure a lot of people would argue with you on that notion.”

“Hmmm…” He pulls her into an alleyway.

He pins her against the wall. He hikes up her leg. He slightly lifts his mask and kisses her. Bella wraps her arms around his neck. Her eyes however, were starting to close.

“I think I’m in love with you…” She says in a drunken slur.

Deadpool nods and picks her up.


Bella rolls over and stretches out across Deadpool’s chest. She rubs her eyes and raises up. She looks around to see they’re in some sort of hotel. In fact the room they were in looked to be some sort of honeymoon suit. The bed they were on was shaped like a heart. The bed sheets were royal purple.

“What the fuck?”
Bella looked to her hand and saw a wedding ring.

“WADE!”
She reaches over and shakes him awake.

“What?” He grumbles into the pillow.

“I want sleepy time.” He complains and covers his face.

“Dammit Wade wake up!”

He sighs and rises up.

“You’re kind of bitchy in the morning you know that?”

“What the hell happened last night?”

She flashes her wedding ring. He grins and shows her his. He was also wearing a tux over his suit.

“We’re hitched!”

“WHAT THE LIVING FUCK WADE?!”

“Aw, babe… you’re so feisty. I dig it!”

“JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST!”

She hops out of the bed and starts to panic.

“How did this happen?”

He shrugs and makes his way out of the bed. He grabs a photo album made of Polaroid’s from the nightstand.

“Our wedding pictures!” He says proudly.

Her jaw drops as she flipped through them. She was asleep through each one. He had a thumbs up in nearly all of them. Just happy go lucky as could be. The very last picture looked entirely wrong. She was passed out over a table. He was standing directly behind her with the thumbs up pose again.

“YOU’RE SOOOOOOOOOOOO DEAD!” She growls.

She paces around pulling at her hair.

“Well yeah duh… and now you’re married to a dead man! Cool huh?”

“No! Nothing about this is cool! Jesus Wade! What were you thinking? I don’t even know your last name! Or hardly anything about you!”

“Yet you slept with me.” He fires back.

“Why do we always have to think?” He adds.

She covers her face and shakes her head.

“Wilson.”

“What?”

“The last name is Wilson. Now your name as well.”

“How is this even legal?”

“I have my ways.”

“Wade…” She says softly and reaches to her heart. She sits down turning white as a ghost.

“You didn’t even ask me. You just…”

“Why would I ask? I knew what I wanted.”
She half laughs.
“Listen to yourself! It’s not just about what you want Wade! Do you realize how cra…”

“Crazy right?! Yeah I hear it all the fucking time! Yeah I’m fucking crazy. But so are you! It takes someone just as insane to fall for this motherfucker! I heard you!”
“Heard me?!”

“Just before you passed out last night you said you loved me!”

“I did?”

He nods.

“So you took me to Vegas and married me?”

He nods again. He shows her a certain photo.

“This one’s my favorite.”

She goes to snap at him again. Only she looks to the photo. She half expected it to be some sort of sexually depraving one. Only it wasn’t. He had his arms around her and was kissing her. Whoever married them was standing behind them.

“So even though I wasn’t even able to say my part of the vows. This is legal?”

“I covered that part for you. We had our own vows.” He says proudly.

“Wade…”

He had brought his laptop with him. He took it out and updated his status to married. Bella staggered back a bit.

“So this is for real?”
“Yep!”
“You’re my husband?”

“Awesome huh?! Best night ever!”

She nods and rushes off to the bathroom. She scrubs her face and a wave of nausea hit her. Bella quickly turned on the shower and to ice cold. She didn’t even bother to step out of the little white dress he had her in. The water hit her body. She shut her eyes. Bella was no longer Bella Swan she was Bella Wilson. She was married to a merc. A merc named Wade Wilson aka Deadpool. She looked to her ring in thought. The damn thing looked pricey as hell. Both bands were white gold and had heart half’s made of diamonds on them the bands connected to make a full heart. Honestly, it was beautiful. She sighed and ran her fingers along it. His rather matched only it was just a solid band of white gold.

Deadpool steps into the bathroom. She hears him taking a leak. She half laughs again and leans against the wall. He starts humming Close To You By the Carpenters. She peeks out of the shower curtain and looks to him oddly.

“Close to you?” She questions.

“It’s our song! They played it at our reception. It was sung by Elvis!”

He starts humming again and fixes his suit as he adjusts. He flushes and washes his hands.

“This is insane.”

“Aw, I love you too baby.”

He pecks her lips on the way out. Bella becomes frozen. That made the first she’d ever heard him say that. She swallows back in thought. She looks to her ring again.

“Well I’m still in highschool, I’m 18 and married to a merc…”

Bella enters the room to see him flipping through the photo album again. A small grin forms on her face. This was totally irrational… She should be trying to kill him! Instead she finds herself making her way over. She sits in his lap.

“Next time could we at least discuss the important milestones to our relationship?”

“Eh…”
“Wade!”
“Show me your bewbs.”

“Huh?”

“Show me your bewbies and I’ll consider it.”

She sighs and flashes him.

“Awesome!” He chuckles.
She lowers her shirt back down.

“Do we have a deal?”

“What was that again?”
“WADE!”

“What? Why are you yelling at me?! Bewbs don’t yell or talk! BEEEWWBS!”

“Ugh I’m married to a mental patient.” She mumbles.

He spanks her rear.

“Guess that makes you my nurse. Hmm, nurse… We should get you an outfit!”

He pops open a bottle of pink champagne. He pours them both a glass. Only he takes the bottle and starts to drink from it instead.


Back at the apartment…

Bella enters the bathroom. She laughs seeing Deadpool in a bubble bath. He had a rubber ducky in one hand and beer in the other. He was completely nude expect for his mask. The bubbles covered most his body however.

“Comfy?”

He nods and squeezes his rubber ducky. Bella crouches over the tub. She narrows her eyes and runs her fingers along his arms. She was beginning to see the scars were amongst his entire body. Bella removes the beer from his hold. She brought his bare hand to her cheek. Bella kisses the palm of his hand. She starts to raise back up. He reaches over and wraps his arms around her waist. He pulls her into the tub.

“Wade!”

He laughs and pulls her against his chest.

“You look better all wet.” He mutters.

He swallows back. He wasn’t used to feeling anyone against his bare body. He actually sucked back a breath at the sensitivity. Bella noticed the way his body was reacting to hers. She takes her shirt and throws it off. She then slips out of her shorts and panties. Bella reaches to his mask. He goes to stop her.

“It’s just me Wade…” She reminds.

She takes it off and throws it with the rest of her clothes. He grows tense again. She takes his bare hands and runs them along her breasts. She smiles as she feels him stirring awake below. He begins to run his hands along her entire body. She curiously watched his reaction.

Author: Are you crying?

Deadpool: NO!
Author: (softly laughing) you’re totally crying!

Deadpool: I am not. Its allergies.

He looks around.

Deadpool: You have a cat don’t you! Fucking cats.

Author: Whatever…

Back to story…

“Bella…” He says getting her name right for the first time ever.

His hands continued to run along her body as she kissed him. Bella took her time with him. She too ran her hands along his body. Yet again they end up making love in the tub. Once they were done she raises up off him. She grabs a towel and dries off.

He just looks at her. He says nothing merely stares. She brushes her hair and steps out. After she’s out of the room. Deadpool gets out. He dries off and makes his way to the mirror. He recoils and shakes his head.

“Who wants to see that?” He utters and puts his suit back on.

He didn’t understand how she could even stand to look at him. He couldn’t stand to look at himself. Bella was cleaning up a mess that Ryan made as he stepped out. She threw away the paper towels. He looked to the time. He had another case to do with Logan and Cable tonight. He yet again set up. Bella was wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a black midriff.

“Daddy like…” He says and runs his hands along her midriff.

She softly laughs.

“Is that so?”

He nods and pops her on the butt.

“Don’t wait up, Stella.”

She grins as he leaps out of the window.


“What would you like Ryan huh?” Bella questions as she digs through the fridge.

He pants beside her and wags his tail. Only all a sudden he starts to growl.

“What’s with you?”

She turns to see it’s not at her. She swallows back and backs up.

“Jasper…”

He smiles and crouches down. He goes to pet Ryan and Ryan snaps at him. Bella protectively reaches down and picks Ryan up. Ryan continues to growl.

“Shh…” She says and swallows back nervously.

“What do you want Jasper?”
She turns to hear another sound. Edward leaps into the apartment from the window. He looks around and sniffs the air. He shakes his head upon Bella severely. Bella cautiously makes her way to the bathroom. She stuffs Ryan inside.
“Stay there boy…”
He starts to whimper and claws at the door as she pulls it shut. She jumps as she turns and both vampires stand before her.

“We’ve come to take you home Bella.” Edward declares.

Bella continues to maneuver around away from the vampires.

“I’m not going anywhere with either of you. This is my home now.”

“Bella darlin’ please just come with us. We’re sorry we never meant to cause you fright.” Jasper does his best to insure with that thick accent of his.

“He’s right. Bella I’m so sorry. You know I’d never hurt you. Please I love you so much. These last few weeks have been torture. I thought Alice would never find you. We’ve all had some time to think. We realize just how…”

Edward narrows his eyes to the glistening distraction on her finger. He snarls back as he roughly grabs her left hand. He sees the wedding ring.

“WHAT THE HELL!”

He forces her finger back and jerks the ring off. He tosses it across the room. He back hands her.

“HOW DARE YOU DISHONOR ME?!”

He clamps his hand around her throat and lifts her into the air. He breathes her in. Edward hisses out and throws her across the apartment.

“Don’t Edward you could kill her!”

“She needs to be punished for what she’s done. She’s no longer a virgin. I can smell it! You were to remain pure for ME!” He barks pointing a finger upon her.

“For that you will pay! You had no right to take that away from me! NONE!”

She reaches up and grabs the hidden gun from under the nightstand. She cocks the chamber.

“Back the fuck up! Both of you!”

Jasper has a good laugh at this.

“Oh little darlin’. You truly think we’re afraid of a gun?”

“You should be!”
“And why’s that.”

He says taking a step towards her. She takes in a breath and aims right for his balls. Without hesitation she fires. Jasper screams out and falls to his knees. She fires again as Edward comes towards her he takes a hit to the chest.

“Don’t come any closer there are four more bullets fuckers!”

He takes another step. She hits him in the thigh. He zips over and yanks the gun from her hand. Edward grabs her by the roots of her hair. He breaks the gun in half with his bare hand. Her nose was gushing blood. She was gagging as it drained into the back of her throat.

“Let’s go Jasper.”

Jasper groans out.

“She shot my fucking dick off!” He says in pubescent like cry.

Bella starts laughing.

“GOOD! ASSHOLE!”

“It’ll heal!” Edward retorts with the rolling of his eyes.

“It’s like gone!” He panics as he looks into his jeans.

Bella continues to laugh.

“There wasn’t much to blow away anyhow. Look at it like this now your lesbian dreams have finally come true.”

Jasper soars across the room. He slams her into the coffee table. Bella’s eyes roll back.

“SHIT!” Jasper yells once he realizes what he’s done.

“Bella… come on darlin’.”

He tries to stir her awake.

“What the fuck Jasper?”

Edward rushes over and thoroughly scans her over.

“You knocked her out!”

Jasper sighs. Edward flips her over his shoulder.

“Let’s go.”


“So you want us to meet some gal. You claim to be your wife now?” Logan says and rolls his eyes as they’re heading back from their previous mission.

“Yep!”

Logan and Cable look to one another. Cable shrugs.

“Might as well humor him.” Cable replies.

Logan sighs.

“If you’re wasting our time over some blowup doll or prostitute. I’m gonna kick yer fucking ass Wade!”

“I don’t think she’s a prostitute. Never heard of a prostitute that still had her cherry!”

Cable chuckles a bit.

“Well did she ask you for money after you had sex?”

He doesn’t answer. They shrug and follow him back to his apartment.

Deadpool opens the door. And he looks around to the destruction. Logan takes in a whiff of the air.

“Blood…” He mutters.

Deadpool steps inside. His hands ball up into fists. Both Cable and Logan look to one another. Deadpool crouches down beside the broken coffee table. He runs his fingers along the puddle of blood. He angrily rises. He takes his entire couch and tosses it across the room. He rips off his mask and grabs Logan by the collar of his shirt.

“HELP ME FIND MY GIRL DAMMIT!”

next1homebackf

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