Chapter 9 Happy Birthday Mr J

Please Read and review. Thank you. I do not own DC Universe or Twilight.

“What are we doing Selina?”

Selina smiles and grabs hold of her. Bella’s eyes widen as they zip across the electric fences of Arkham Asylum.

“Jesus…” Selina shakes her head and quickly covers her mouth.

“Quiet, now would be a good time to practice your stealth mode. This place is swamped with guards.”

Bella’s heart races.

“I need you trust me and keep close.”

“I thought we weren’t going inside.”

“I told a teeny tiny lie.”

Bella goes pale.

“Snap out of it Harley… Remember who you are. Nothing causes you fear… You’ve been abused for years… Now it’s time for revenge.”

“So I’m going to meet him?”

She smiles.

“Yes and no… You see I will show you where he is. But we’re only jump starting this… Now pay attention and do everything I say.”

Bella nods and Selina looks around as she takes one of the vents down.

“I thought the point was to break out not in.” Bella harshly whispers.

Selina ignores her and lifts her into the vent. Both remain extremely quiet as Selina points out the directions to go. Selina grabs her foot at one point and makes her stop. She brings Bella back towards her and leans into her ear.

“It’s important that you pay attention. This is the way you will be taking every time you go to torture Joker. This will lead straight to where he is. But it takes time, patience, smarts and might even mean you have to knock out a couple guards. Each of these guards has freaking lasers one shot Harley is all it could take. This right here though is why I stopped you.” She takes out something from her suit a small can of spray. She sprays the area before them revealing a green alarm trigger. Bella’s eyes widen.

“If you would have set that off…” Selina points down showing Bella all the guards beneath them.

Bella nods and Selina smiles.

“Good thing we’re both agile girls kitten.” Bella narrows her eyes confused.

Selina crawls past her. She does this back arching thing and does a perfect roll missing the trigger.

Bella wasn’t sure if she could even attempt such a move. Selina motions her over impatiently.

We’re going to die. This is it… Bella thinks to herself. She takes in a breath and attempts successfully what Catwoman did. She looks back impressed with herself.

“Nicely done.” Catwoman winks

“Now we’ve only got 8 more to get past.”


She continues to follow her nerves getting the best of her. Selina turns towards her and puts a finger to her mouth and motions for Bella to stay put. Bella nods and Selina slides over one of the vents and drops down. Bella’s heart was racing beyond belief. She hears a muffled noise and Selina motions for her to drop down. Bella makes her way down and sees two guards on the ground her eyes widen.

“Are they?”

Selina shakes her head and shows her they were merely knocked out. Bella nods in relief. She follows her down a hallway. But the smell, the chill in the air, the sounds were messing with her head. It reminded her of Seattle all over again. Only this place was much bigger, darker and noisier. Goosebumps ran down her body. Selina jumped up and opened another vent. Once again she lifts Bella up. Bella waits for her and Selina comes up and places the vent back on. Bella wondered how many times she’d done this. It was like clockwork for her. It takes them a good hour to get to where the Joker was being kept. Once again Selina sprays the area. There were two lines they have to cross without touching. Bella watches and shakes her head. Selina nods with encouragement. Once again she takes in a breath and does as Selina. Selina smiles as she makes it across.

However her smile fades and she points to another vent to the right.
“That’s where Joker is. Not your typical caged cell either. You’ll see. Now listen up. I can’t go down there with you or he’ll know something’s up. You’re going to say nothing. All I want from you is to smile that crazy sadistic grin of yours and hold this up to his glass cell. “Honey I’m home.” It said in blood. Kiss the glass and wave. Then I want you to skip away happily pouncing around like Harley would do. I mean it no talking not yet. You have her voice down but I want you to have a bit more practice first. There will be one more thing we’re going to do afterword and then I’ll take you out for ice cream kitten.” Bella half smiles but her nerves were getting the best of her.

“You can do this. Remember this is what you wanted. You said so yourself. So let’s make the son of a bitch pay.”

Bella nods and Selina checks her over fixing her suit.

“Play ball my little Harley Quinn.”

Bella nods and Selina slides open the vent.

“Make sure you get his attention but be quick don’t stick around. There’s no guards inside the room at the moment but there is a slew of them outside. The moment Joker says your name you need to duck and dodge the fuck out of there.”

Bella says a silent prayer within herself and drops down. Timidly she takes her steps. You’re Harley… You’re Harley. Smile… Show no fear.

She sees the glass cell in the middle of the room. There he was with his face looking down not in the usual purple suit she’d seen in the pictures. But the same green hair, he wore the bright orange scrubs black shoes. He was humming but looked miserable. He sat at a brown desk in his cell. She couldn’t help but to stare her body was frozen. She swallowed back knowing she had to hurry. She held the card in her hand and tiptoed to the glass.

Here goes nothing she thinks as she taps on the glass. She forces that smile that playfulness to come within her. He slowly brings his head up and she holds the card to the glass. He narrows his green eyebrows, his face was even scarier in person. But she continued to smile. Say it… She thinks waiting for it. Say my name you bitch…He comes towards the glass tilting his head. Through that smile of hers she swallows. FUCKING SAY IT ALREADY!


Her grin becomes wild and she sensually leans into the glass and kisses it as if to kiss his cheek. She then steps back and does a cutesy wave and skips away.
“HARLEY!” He shouts desperately.

Bella rushes to get back into the vent.

“HARLEY!” He shouts more severely.

Selina helps pull her through.

“Hurry.” Selina says as she puts the vent back on and they crawl as quickly away from the area as possible. Selina comes to a pause and motions another way. Bella rears back.

“Let’s go.”

Bella drops down and see’s they’re in some sort of control room.

“This will be your finest moment. This is where you must shine the most.”

Bella looks to all the camera’s and security monitors around the room.

“Today is Joker’s birthday. Harley never ever forgot his birthday. We’re going to remind him of that. Please tell me you know who Marilyn Monroe is?”

“OF course I do.” Bella hisses.

Selina smiles.

“Do you remember her song to JFK for his birthday?”

“The happy president song?”

“Yes only in this version it’s Mr. J… when you come to the close you will refer to him as puddin’. Remember keep that voice in check. This is important you have to perfect this there is no time for screw ups.”

Bella however looked down to see the security guards were already knocked out.

“Yeah you might want to work fast. Not sure when they’ll wake.”

Bella’s eyes widen.

“On the count of three…” Selina says and motions her fingers.

Bella quickly props herself up on the desk and crosses her legs sensually. She smiles.

“Perfect.” Selina says.

“One… Two… Three…”

The lights shine in Harley’s face as Selina hit the red switch. She snaps herself into character fast.

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday Mr. J

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday Puddin…”

She kicks her legs about and blows a kiss… Selina shuts down the switch.

“Nailed it… but that was also live so time to jet.”

Bella’s eyes widen as she hears the ruckus around them now, people shouting and security guards running on foot.

“Selina!” Bella says with widened eyes.

Selina promptly gets in the air duct and takes Bella’s hand. At a quickened pace they make their way out. However right at the last vent Selina drops her can of spray and it makes a loud metal noise.

“Fuck…” Selina mutters and she yanks Bella back as shots are fired about the vent.

“Don’t even worry about setting off alarms now let’s get the fuck out of here.” They rush out and Bella freaks knowing that had that one hallway to get past to even make it to the other vent way leading out.

They drop down and Selina quickly grabs her and slams her back covering her mouth.

“Stay put.” She hisses and Bella freezes. Her eyes widen as she watches Selina take out three guards.

“Let’s go.” Selina calls and they rush down the hallway.

Once again Selina grabs her and peeks around the corner as she covers her mouth.

“Run… Go out the way we came. I got this.”


Bella’s screams out as the guards come their way. She manages to get into the vent and Selina shuts it. Bella realizes Selina just shut herself inside.

“GO HARLEY!” Catwoman demands and Bella rushes out but the guilt weighing on her about leaving her mentor behind.

Bella gets to the vent leading out and she quietly slides it over. She peeks out to see a guard right underneath. She didn’t want to take anyone’s life though. These were father’s, brothers, sons people that had families and were just doing their job. But she also hated hurting people. She knew she had no choice though and the way the shots were going on the inside her better shot was out here before word got out.

Bella drops down covering his mouth. She winces as she takes the blunt of her gun and knocks him out. She drags his body against the wall.

“Sorry.” She whispers and puts a hand to chin checking him over. She checked his pulse as well and heard another guard. She ducked by the corner and peered over.

“There’s word of escape…” She hears a guard say.

Bella rolls her eyes. Jesus Selina… She waits for the guard to leave his post and she zip lines back over the fence. She flinches as the tips of the electric fence catches the right bottom of her shoe. She grits her teeth as she falls back onto one of the rooftops. She lies back for moment catching her breath. Her body ached all over from just that little hit. She couldn’t imagine if it was full on. She’d probably be laying here dead.

She just prayed Selina didn’t just get herself killed or got herself locked up. Bella hated the idea of trying to break her out of that god forsaken place. She rolls over sorely and scoots back still able to see the guards about the place. She ducks into the shadow waiting for Selina. Bella brings her foot up and sees the current went through the padding of her booties on the suit. She grimaces at the small flap of skin. She puts her finger to it and groans flinging her head back.


Another hour and still Selina’s a no show.

“Come on seriously?”

Bella sighs and decides to head the apartment in hopes that she somehow made it back. Bella limps around wanting out of the itchy hot costume.

He watches from the shadows of the rooftop. He’d truly hope his assumptions were wrong. He’d pieced everything together from something’s Bruce told him to what he learned at Watchtower. From what little he’d watched of Bella when he finally found her. He tilts his head wondering why the hell Harley had just snuck out of the asylum what’s she up to?

He sees her take something out from the trash can…

He watches her look around… if only she knew she was being watched… She takes off her suit and her long brown locks fall upon her shoulders. He tilts his head rearing back. His eyes widen as she stands in the buff now.


He continues to watch as she puts her pants, shirt and shoes back on. She tucks the suit into her bag.

“Great I’ve fallen for an anti. What the hell Bella?!” He paces around the roof running his fingers along his hair.

“Come on baby you’re better than this… Time to take measures into my own hands…”

She swallows back the pain as she puts on her boots. Bella tucks her gun into the back of her pants pulling her hoodie over it. She puts her backpack on her back and heads towards the apartment. She had a ways to go. Selina had the money so she couldn’t even call for a cab. Her teeth continue to grit each time the bottom of her foot hits the pavement.

Several cars rush past Bella. She narrows her eyes seeing it was some sort of chase. She jumps out of the way of a police car as it charges towards the cars. However more cars zoom towards the same area. Only one of them slams on its brakes and Bella turns with a quickness as the driver makes its way out and it grabs a little boy from his father’s arms. Bella immediately takes out her gun.

The father yells as the man shoves the child into the car. Something in her snaps and she doesn’t even think about it. She steps in front of the next car aiming her gun. The driver slams on their brakes and she shoves them out of the car. She gets in and slams on the gas she heads the direction the boy was taken. She sees the car is three down from where she is. She grits her teeth and puts the car in reverse. She whips around and turns down the alleyway praying it leads where she things. Once she gets to the corner she whips the car around follows the car to an abandoned building.

She shakes her head on this. She rolls her eyes remembering what Catwoman said about the suit. She sees the boy being shoved out of the car. Bella quickly gets back into her suit stuffing her clothes back inside. She keeps the car in the shadows watching as they drag him into a doorway. There were 7 men though and one of her.

“Jesus…” She half growls and quietly makes her way out of the car.

She looks around wondering where the ones saving their asses were. Only to realize that was her tonight… She fixes her Harley Quinn hood hiding her brown locks of hair before opening the door that she had no idea where it led. That was another thing she was glad she’d forgotten to take off her make up. She softly giggles in thought though of how that must’ve looked her walking around in citizen wear but Harley makeup. She was too fucking tired to care or even think about it. Selina though would have had her ass for that. Why am I laughing? A boy’s in trouble and … What the fuck is wrong with me? Have I totally lost my marbles?

“Tie him up… We’ll wait for the ransom.”

“Tell them we want 40 grand instead.”

Bella rears back at this. She quietly maneuvers wondering how the hell she’s going to pull something like this off. She hears the little boy crying though and she grimaces.

“I’m coming kiddo…” She whispers softly and peers over seeing what her options were and where they kept the boy.

They were in some sort of warehouse. Boxes and carts where everywhere. For some reason the place smelled like raw fish. It made her nauseas feeling. She turned to see this short fat man in a monocle, his nose pointed and he was the one barking orders and running the show. He was in a black suit and top hat.

“I want my daddy!”

“Shut up kid.”

Bella gritted her teeth as she saw one of the men slap the boy. She crawls towards another wall and pinches the bridge of her nose. She knew she might not actually live this one out there were just too many men with guns. If she could manage to get the boy though… She thought and looked around. That was her only option, get the boy and go. She just hoped that the boy wasn’t scared of Harley Quinn.

She continues about getting closer to the boy. She hides behind a crate as one of the men walk past. Once he leaves the area she takes off in a sprint towards the boy. The boy goes to scream and she quickly covers her mouth as their in some sort of metal shed looking thing.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” She whispers leaning into his ear.

“You want to see your father?”

He nods with big ole tears. Bella nods and brings the boy into her chest.

“We’re going to get out of here ok. But you’re going to be quiet and do as I say.”

He nods and she wipes his cheeks.

“You’re brave aren’t you?” He half smiles.

“I knew it.”

She didn’t even attempt to act like Harley at the moment. She didn’t care what Selina thought. She didn’t want to frighten the boy more than he was already. Bella scoops him up and starts to carry him out. She gets to the door and pulls it open. She goes to walk him outside but hears the clicking of a gun and it’s to her head. She closes her eyes not wanting any danger to come to the child. She forces him out and jams the door shut as she braces her body against it.

“Bad move…”
She hears the sound of a gun firing outside her eyes widen and she fights to get out the door but she’s dragged away from it.

“Look what I got.” The man shoves her down before the man in the tux.

He tilts his head and this sick laughter escapes his mouth.

“Hmmm. A much better prize… Who needs a boy when you got hot steaming sex about your feet?”

He reaches his hand out and Harley comes out to play…

She smiles and takes his hand as he raises her up.

“And who says chivalry is dead?”

He cocks a brow. He smiles. Harley seductively circles him running her finger along his collar.

“I don’t know whether it’s the nose or the bad comb over… But there’s just something about you.”

She grabs his collar as if to kiss him but instead she puts her gun to his throat.

“Sorry I like my men black and blue.” She cocks the chamber.

“And that boy better be alive…”

“I believe it’s time to break our little deal.” He says bitterly.

She narrows her eyes and turns to see guns aimed directly at her. She laughs and steps away.

“What can I say you got me boys…”

She continues to step back but her attention is elsewhere. She hits her zipline and heads towards the ceiling. Harley swings around as shots are fired. Her eyes widen as someone else bust through the ceiling and grabs her.

She’s shoved back on another floor of the warehouse. He looks her in the eyes.

“Stay put.”

She smiles.

“Well if it isn’t the prince himself.” She runs her hand along his chest.

He clears his throat and comes to his feet. Harley comes to her feet as he hops down. She curiously watches with her arms crossed and she’s leaned against the corner. She claps her hands and jumps for joy. Nightwing brings three men down with his electrical sting. He turns his head slightly and rears back at this.

“You going to stand there cheerleading or are you gonna help?”

“I thought you told me to stay put loverboy.”

He grins shaking his head. But swings his fist around as another one of Penguins men comes from behind.

“Oh good move blue jay!”

“Blue jay?” He rears back.
“Try Nightwing.”

“I already did. He wasn’t so bad.”

This was killing him having to pretend he didn’t know. This was just so surreal it was like day and night with her.

She jumps down and his eyes widen as she wraps her legs around one of the men and flings him down. Damn…I can’t believe that’s freaking Bella under that costume. He goes to warn her as another one comes towards her. She fires her gun and hits him in the leg.

“Whaddya think? I was gonna kill him?”
He smiles shaking his head.

“Sounds like something Harley would do.”

Harley turns back towards the door.
“He’s fine Harley.”

She turns back towards Nightwing.

“The boy… He’s safe.” He says watching her reactions closely.

She shrugs as if she could care less. But her eyes deceived her as he looked upon her. She turns as Penguins making a run for it.

“Aw look blue jay he’s running… if you can call it that.”
Nightwing grabs her as she’s about to go after Penguin.

“It’s Nightwing.” She smiles as he pulls her against his chest.

“Awww, is someone feeling insecure?” She leans into his ear.

“I happen to love blue jays…”

Nightwing closes his eyes for a moment trying to shrug it off. But quickly turns as he hears her slam the Penguin down. She shoves his head into the water holding him under.

“Harley…” Nightwing warns taking in a breath.

She pulls his head back up.

“Why were you after the boy?”

The penguin looks to her laughing a bit.

“You’re asking all the wrong questions.”

Harley shrugs and shoves his head back into the water. Nightwing hears her humming and she rocks her body back and forth.
“Harley you’re killing him.”

She sighs and pulls him back up. He starts coughing.

“Who are you?” She demands.

“He’s the Penguin… You should know this Harley…” She turns back to Nightwing.

She swallows back on this.

“In fact you’ve worked with him before…” Nightwing watches her reaction to this.

She narrows her eyes and shoves him back into the water holding him under yet again.


She continues to hold him under. Come on Bella this isn’t you don’t do it. He sighs in relief as she pulls him back up.

“Ask you’re precious pussy cat.” He coughs out.

She pens him to the ground.

“TALK!” She says pinching his cheeks together.

Harley and Nightwing both jump as they hear a gun fire from above. Nightwings eyes widen as Harley grits her teeth.

“Are you hit?” He yells almost in a panic and rushes over.

“Why would you care?”

“Hold on.” He says grinding his teeth at her comment.

Once he gets her to safety. He checks her over.

“Where did it hit?”

“Just a little graze.” She says shrugging her arms as she looks to her shoulder.

Come on Bella… this was going to be harder than he thought.

“So where’s your partner in crime?”

“She’s taking a break. Why thinking about switching teams?” She fake gasp.

“And break poor bat brains heart…”

“Actually I was about to ask you the same question.”

She laughs.

“Now why would I do that?”

He rears back at this.

“When this…” She fires her zipline and turns to him.

“Is just so much fun.”

“Try and catch me loverboy.” She taunts by blowing a kiss and vanishes.




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