I do not own SOA or Twilight. Tig and Kozik history is AU.
Jax pulled up and shook his head upon the scene before him. His wife had her gun aimed upon Kozik and Opie had Frankie in a choke hold. Tig was beat all to hell and could barely stand on his own two feet. He parked his bike and took his helmet off, placing it on one of the handles. The man ran his fingers through his hair as he made his way over. He nodded upon Opie.
“What’s going on?”
“First off.” Opie shoved Frankie towards Jax.
“This one here pushed your pregnant wife down.”
Tig reared back in absolute surprise. He hadn’t any idea she was pregnant. Opie motioned towards Angel. Jax gritted his teeth seeing that her arm and face had marks left by the pavement. She was pushed hard enough that it broke the skin on both areas and her arm had blood running down it. Without any warning whatsoever he socked Frankie in the gut. Frankie came to his knees. Jax grabbed a fistful of his hair. He tossed Opie his shades and looked Frankie in the eyes.
“You so much as touch my wife again and I’ll rip your balls off and shove them right up your ass.”
He adjusted his SONS rings and popped him across the face. Jax forced the man back to his feet and shoved him towards Kozik and Greg.
“You three in the chapel, now!”
Opie gave Greg and Frankie a slight push that direction. Tig had Jax’s attention now as the others were heading inside.
“So you think you have the right to take matters into your own hands? Things such as killing my ex-wife and staging it to look as though she OD’d?”
Tig drew back a breath on this.
“Well when you put it that way…” He quipped.
“Tig…” Angel warned.
Jax shook his head.
“And you got my wife and a brother involved.”
He took his gun and aimed it upon Tig.
“Jax…” Angel pleaded and wrapped her hands around his arm.
“Don’t do this…”
Jax’s shook his head as he kept his eyes glued to Tig’s.
“You almost killed my girl yet here she is trying to save your sorry ass. You wanna explain that to me?”
Tig regarded Angel in thought.
“I’m just as lost as you are on that one,” he admitted.
“You’re not him…” Angel adamantly put.
“If you were… Jax would’ve ended you by now.”
Tig grimaced on this but knew she had a point. She reached out and lowered her husband’s gun. Jax pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I swear to God, Tig. If this goes south, there will be no mercy. And you don’t even want to know what I have in store for you, if that’s the case. You know as well as anyone… My family will always come first. Don’t you fuck me over! And just so you know… My reason for not killing you hasn’t anything to do with my old lady… If this shit with my ex bounces back to any of us. I want you alive and well… This way you can set things straight. And you had better if that ever comes to play. I won’t lose my son and I won’t have my wife paying for your stupidity. Do we have an understanding?”
Tig nodded and Angel drew back a breath of relief. Jax put his gun away and regarded the clubhouse in thought.
“This thing with Kozik… What’s that all about?”
Angel took notice of the painful look in Tig’s eyes.
“He’s here because of me…”
Jax cut him a peculiar glance and Tig sighed.
“He knows what the Sons mean to me and that you guys are the closest thing I have left to family.”
“But you’re no longer a Son…”
“That doesn’t matter… Not to someone like Kozik. If anything, I’m sure he finds this whole ordeal comical – having been voted out and all, and him being voted in not long after. That’s just icing on the cake…”
“You gonna tell me the story behind all this or do I have to beat it out of you?”
“Can I have a drink first?”
Jax rolled his eyes but Angel gently nudged him.
“Jax…” She whispered in such a way.
Her husband sighed and grabbed Tig by the collar of his shirt. He dragged him towards one of the picnic tables outside the clubhouse.
“Have a seat!” Jax growled as he roughly forced Tig to into one of the seats.
Angel headed inside and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, two shot glasses, and two beers. She headed back out, slid the beers over, and poured Jax and Tig a shot. Tig downed his rather quickly. And Angel poured him another. Jax lit one of his cigarettes and took a nice long drag before taking his shot. Tig cleared his throat and ran his thumb along the rim of the shot glass.
“Did you know I was married once?”
“You?” Jax uttered in disbelief.
Tig nodded towards Angel as she took a seat beside Jax.
“Like that one there… A complete knock out. So much so, I often wondered how the hell I ended up so god damn lucky.”
The man let out a miserable laugh.
“Two daughters later, this guy enters the picture. Someone she worked with. I didn’t pay much attention at first when she went on and on about him. I just figured she was happy, in the sense of making a friend that she had so much in common with. That is until a month later, when I come home to find my wife and daughters bags packed. When I confront her, she tells me she’s fallen for someone else. That I can’t give her the things she needs. You know that song and dance… She takes my little girls and heads on out the door. Evidently, seven years of marriage is something to piss on. Long story short, I go to confront this guy the next day. Of course he’s younger, better looking, makes more money than I do, but the guy’s a royal douchebag. These guys come out from nowhere and beat the living daylights out of me. Out of pride I never told her. But considering the way things went afterward. I wish I would’ve. Not sure how much of a difference it would’ve made. So she moves in with this guy and drags my little girls into the mix.”
Angel swallowed back and reached out taking his hand as he started to tear up. Tig pinched his eyes shut and cleared his throat once again.
“This whole divorce battle plays on for nearly a year. I’m doing everything I can think of to gain custody or some sort of rights at least to see my girls. But my wife calls me, just a few days shy of us going to court and finalizing the divorce. She’s all shaken up about something and tells me she’s having second thoughts. That the man isn’t what he made himself out to be. She breaks down and is apologizing over and over. Telling me how stupid she was. And me being the dick I am… I tell her she’s a god damn bitch and it serves her right. That I fucking hate her! She actually agreed with me making a first.” Tig drew back a quivery breath.
“She begs me to take her back. She tells me she’ll do whatever it takes to make it work. That she and the girls are coming home. And at the time, that’s all I cared about… my daughters. Sure, I loved my wife. But I felt rather resentful, especially, in the sense of feeling like chop liver. Her only reason for coming back to me was because her little fairy tale didn’t quite pan out the way she’d hoped, so I became the bitch’s silver metal. After we hang up, I hop up and spend all fucking night getting the house ready. I’m talking deep cleaning, laundry, vacuuming… Shit I’ve never done in my life. And the more time passed, the more excited I grew. I couldn’t wait to see my girls. Only the clock kept on ticking… I try calling her seeing as how it was past midnight the next day. She never picks up. So I wait until 6 am that morning. I call again. Still, no reply… I begin to fear that she might’ve had a change of heart after all. Or that she was merely drunk dialing when she called me the night before. What have you… I decide to head into town and confront her myself. Figure out what the hell is going on. Is she coming home or not?
On the way there, I drive past a few police cars and a couple of ambulances. I remember thinking. That looks like her car… It wasn’t quite registering. Not until I slam on the brakes, because I see them pulling my little girl out of the car. And some paramedics were tending to my wife who was currently lying in a nearby ditch. I put the car in park not caring about the traffic behind me. I get there only to find my wife and youngest daughter are no more. I hear the police talking about the brake line being cut. And I knew…
My oldest daughter just happened to of been staying with a friend. Ironically, my wife was on the way to pick her up so they could come home… Only they never made it.”
Angel closed her eyes for a moment and gave Tig’s hand a slight squeeze. Tig dropped his hold and poured himself another shot. He downed it along with his beer.
“I confronted the son of a bitch later on… He’d overheard our conversation and decided if he couldn’t have her. No one could. The man was stone-faced and nonchalant about the whole ordeal. I was going to kill him but those same men rushed into the room we were in. Held me at gunpoint and threatened the life of my oldest daughter. To this day, I couldn’t prove Kozik guilty. He seems to have friends in high places. And this before I was a Son. So I hadn’t anything to go on. And let’s face it. I don’t have the best record. So I hadn’t any choice. I sent Fawn …”
He trailed off as he got overly emotional.
“I sent my little girl somewhere Kozik would never think to look. And to this day she’s still there. I haven’t seen her in years.”
There was a few moments of silence and Jax looked to be in deep thought about everything Tig just revealed.
“If you want back in the club, you gotta earn your way back. Only this time, if you fuck up I won’t be blacking your ink like we had planned. I will personally carve them off your body.”
Tig looked to Jax in utter astonishment. He hadn’t expected that at all. He truly thought his days with the Sons were over.
“I’ll do whatever you ask. Vote on whatever you want cleared. I got your back.”
“Well Jax baby, you got yourself a bitch after all. Guess I won’t have to spend so much time on my knees. That’s a good thing, I was getting jaw lock.” She teased mocking a sigh of relief.
“Just lay on your side…” Tig suggested until it truly dawned on him what she was suggesting.
“Ohhhh, you bitch…”
She giggled and Jax was hitting his chest as he was choking on his cigarette.
“Jesus, babe…” He muttered once he caught his breath.
“So here’s your first test on earning your way back in. I need you to be one hundred percent straight with me. I mean it, Tig.”
“Were you and Clay doing some underhanded shit before things went south?”
Tig swallowed back on this. They did a lot of underhanded shit. But he knew Jax must’ve been talking about something much bigger.
“I’m guessing you found out about the drug cartel?”
Jax nodded and Tig sighed.
The president’s hand balled into a fist.
“Dammit, Tig. Let me guess.., it was Clay’s idea and like usual, you just went along with it?”
Tig nodded in response.
“And with Clay out of the picture now… How’s that transaction going?”
“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t had a patch to show off. So I’m out of the loop on that one. But I can tell you this much; if there’s some side shit still going then it’s gotta be Frankie and Greg. They were involved as well at the time. Clay had us swear an oath in order to keep it under wraps. In return for our silence, we spilt whatever was made and kept it out of the actual SAMCRO bank.”
“And now there’s Kozik…”
They looked to Angel as she said this.
“Think about it, Jax. Everywhere Kozik goes, they’re right there.”
He narrowed his eyes and absentmindedly twirled his wedding ring about his finger.
“Don’t let it known that we’re on to them. I have a feeling we need to dig deeper on this. I need to find out where they’re going and who all they’re dealing to. Things might’ve changed since you’re no longer involved. So we need to play this smart.”
“Wait. Are you telling me we’re keeping Kozik alive?” Tig questioned with discontent.
Jax sighed, “for now… Until we get this drug cartel solved. I need him alive and kicking.”
Jax polished off his beer and leaned back.
“So whatever I say or do… You gotta play along Tig. I mean it.”
“Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”
Jax smiled, “you just gotta trust me, brother.”
The president looked to his wife.
“Do you mind gathering Opie and Chibs? They’re currently in the need to know, but just the two for now.”
She nodded and came to her feet.
She smiled and pecked him on the cheek. Once she entered the club doors. Tig shook his head.
“I hate you…”
Jax chuckled gathering the meaning.
“I know…” he murmured and sent Tig a wink.
“You and the kid man… That’s the only reason Angel went through with it. You need to know that. She wouldn’t back out no matter what I said or how much I pushed. She was determined. Something ever happens to you or Abel… I truly believe it’d kill her.” Tig said with utmost authenticity.
Jax gradually drew back a breath and rubbed his face, wearily. He went to say something on this, but Angel stepped back out with Opie and Chibs. Jax gestured for them to have a seat. He quietly explained the situation with Wendy, Kozik, and everything behind the drug cartel. Once he was done, Opie and Chibs looked to one another and shook their heads in unison.
“Jesus,” Opie murmured.
Chibs drew back a breath.
“It’s going to be a nightmare dealing with the IRA as it is….”
“My thoughts exactly as to why I need each and every one of you to go with whatever I say and do from here on. No matter how crazy. You just gotta trust me.”
Chibs patted him on the back.
“You got my trust, Jackie boy! Always have!”
“Mine too.” Opie tossed out there as well.
Jax turned his attention to his wife.
“You gotta play along too, baby.”
“Jesus Jax… Two days and you’re already cracking the whip?”
He chuckled and licked his lips.
“Hmmm, we’ll just see about that one later…” he murmured with a wink.
She blushed on this. Jax came to his feet and headed on in without another word. Angel looked to the guys, “here goes nothing…” She said as she followed behind.
Jax pointed upon her the moment she entered the clubhouse.
“Dammit Angel, I told you to go home! Club business is club business and I won’t have you interfering!”
“But Jax! You won’t even try and understand where I’m coming from on this!”
Phil raised his brows in utter surprise. He’d never heard Jax so much as yell at his old lady before. Jax headed into the meeting room and took his seat at the gavel. Piney, Bobby, and Happy looked to one another in wonder. Angel entered the room followed by Opie. Kozik, Frankie and Greg were in there as well and Kozik had this shitty grin about him.
“What you and Happy pulled today was pretty stupid. And this shit with Tig. It’s gotta stop. What’s the deal between you two anyhow?!”
Her jaw dropped.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t you pull that shit with me! What are the odds that Tig just happens to be there, when you decide to go and pay a little visit? Something you hadn’t any business dealing with in the first place! Truth now! You and Tig were planning this from the very beginning, weren’t you? So that’s twice you’ve gone behind my back! Just how stupid do you think I am?!”
“That’s so far from the truth and you know it!”
“The hell I do!”
Jax grimaced on the inside. He was about to threw something out there that was one hell of a hurtful jab. He only prayed to GOD Angel saw past it.
“All this going behind my back and the lies… Hell, you’re no better than Tara.”
“You didn’t just say that…”
He swallowed back seeing that painful twinge in her eyes. Angel grabbed a chair and threw it at him. And he wondered if she truly meant to hit him, as he actually had to duck in order to keep it hitting him in the face. Everyone has this look of absolute shock.
“THE HELL WITH YOU, TELLER! YOU CAN TAKE THAT FUCKING GAVEL AND SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR ASS!”
Once she left Piney came to his feet and pointed upon Jax.
“You had better watch what you fucking say, son. ”
“This isn’t any of your concern.”
Piney gritted his teeth on this and Opie recoiled on the inside, knowing his father thought all this was real.
“You’re gonna fuck this up. Angel might’ve done wrong. But you know what you said was out of line!”
“Are you done?” Jax spat hating every second of this.
“Yeah, I’m done!” Piney replied bitterly, whilst shaking his head.
He sat back down but everyone could see it on his face. He was ready to rip Jax a new one. When it came to Angel, Piney was very protective. So this wasn’t going to be easy by any means. Jax looked to Tig as he and Chibs entered the room.
“As for you… You think I don’t know what this is? You’re so god damn eager to get in my old lady’s pants; you’ll do whatever it takes. And she’s an even bigger idiot falling for it every fucking time. I don’t get it. You nearly got her and Abel killed. Yet here you are bff’s all the sudden. She thinks you’ve had this change of heart or what have you. But we both know you’re the same ole piece of shit that followed Clay around like a little bitch. You might have my old lady fooled, but not me. So here’s the thing. I’m not going to kill you. Yet… No. I want you to stay close to Charming. Just in case this whole ordeal backfires. And when I call… You had better drop whatever the fuck you’re doing and come running like the bitch you’re known for. I don’t care how asinine it is! And next weekend we’re gonna black out that ink of yours. So you had better prepare yourself. Now get the fuck out of my face!”
Jax nodded upon Opie, hintingly. Opie grabbed ahold of Tig and sent him a good jab to the gut and escorted him on out of the building.
The president leaned back in his chair and regarded Kozik, Frankie, and Greg in thought. He lit another cigarette and waited for Opie’s return. Once he made it back, Jax motioned for him to shut the doors. Opie nodded and pulled the doors to and had a seat.
“I don’t know what this beef is between you and Tig. And frankly, I could give a damn. Whatever this is -stays out of the MC. Do we have an understanding?”
“I mean it. I can’t have my guys aiming guns upon one another and in broad daylight nevertheless. Tig pisses everyone off. But I need you to think. You do something stupid and you might very well find yourself without a patch.”
“Good. So there shouldn’t be any more issues on the matter. And that’s another thing… This goes for everyone here. I need Tig alive. So don’t even think about undermining me on this one. To do so would be a grave mistake.”
Everyone nodded in agreement. Jax took another drag off his smoke and nodded upon Frankie.
“You wanna explain why you pushed a knowingly pregnant woman down? Much less MY old lady?”
Frankie pulled a certain face and shook his head no.
“Don’t let it happen again. I mean it, whether she’s my wife or not, we don’t pull that shit; not in this club.”
Jax moved on from there and talked about the whole ordeal with the cops, Agent Stahl, and Clay. He didn’t mention the drugs and wasn’t about to. Not until he knew everything he needed to know. He talked about the situation with Wendy as well. As he did he eyed Happy off and on. This meeting wasn’t about voting on anything. It was merely a heads up. After the meeting he dismissed everyone. That is everyone but Happy. Jax wasn’t stupid. He knew Happy’s reasoning for dropping everything in order to help his old lady. It was no secret to Jax that over half the club wanted his old lady, in a bad way. Sure it pissed him the fuck off. But there wasn’t much he could do about it.
Especially, when Angel dealt with the same issues when it came to the club girls and Jax. He hadn’t a leg to stand on there. It just came with the territory.
“You wanna be a Son or not?”
Happy shook his head with slight annoyance.
“I wanna be a Son.”
“Then you answer to the Pres and not his old lady. If you can’t handle that then you might as well go back to being a nomad. I have no place for you in Charming otherwise.”
Jax decided to check things over at the old house, before heading home. That, and well he needed sometime alone in order to clear that head of his. He pulled into the drive and climbed off his bike. He took his helmet off as he was walking towards the front door. Jax came to a stop however as something caught his attention. He narrowed his eyes as he bent down and picked up one of several bullets amongst the ground. As he rose he staggered back when he saw the front of the house.
“Jesus…” he muttered under his breath.
The entire front had been shot all to hell. The windows, walls, even the front door. His heart sank to the pit of his stomach. All he kept thinking was how Abel and Angel could’ve been home when this took place. And even with his wife’s shield ability. There’s no way she would’ve been able to defend herself and Abel in time. He stuffed the bullet into his pocket. Jax took his gun out for his own peace of mind and entered the house with caution.
“…fuck…” He whispered as he was taking in all the damage.
Most of the furniture, the pictures they had on the walls, and nearly everything in Abel’s room had been destroyed. There were bullet holes everywhere. Jax couldn’t tell for sure if this was recent or not. He also wondered why there weren’t any reports of gunfire in this neighborhood. Something to this caliber… no way it wasn’t heard. Unless, they were using some sort of silencers, but even at that, there had to have been witnesses at least. This wasn’t a simple drive by. No. This was purposeful with murderous intentions. There were no signs of forced entry and everything was still in place. That is everything that wasn’t on the walls or shot all to hell. The man ran his hands along the frame of Abel’s window. This was the area he would’ve been sleeping. This had Jax ill in thought. He leaned against the wall for a moment and brought his hands up in a prayer like fashion.
The man forced himself to snap out of it. He decided to look throughout the rest of the house. Just as he assumed everything else was fine. But now, he’d have to throw more money into this house in order to sell it. And get a junker here so he could do some cleaning up. He grabbed a backpack from his room and started placing some of their favorite pictures in it along with Abel’s baby book, and whatever else he found of any importance lying around. He entered Angel’s old room last, but froze, dropping the bag that was in his hand. The woman gasped out and hopped off the bed. Something fell from her hand and Jax hurriedly scooped it up. He gritted his teeth as he skimmed through a few pages realizing it was his wife’s journal.
“What in the fuck are you doing? And how did you get into this house?!”
The woman sighed and he put his gun away.
“One of the windows in the living room was shot up enough I was able to crawl on through.”
“So you just welcomed yourself inside? Jesus, Tara!”
He shut the journal and waved it in her face.
“This is low… even for you.”
Tara pulled a certain face on this.
“Of course you would think so… You seem to forget I took lessons from your mother.” she said in such a way; one that had Jax rearing back. Tara jerked the journal back out of his hand and turned to a particular entry.
“I envy Jax Teller. What I wouldn’t give … He has a beautiful son and someone to come home to. At least Dr. Knowles seems to be more levelheaded than that ex-wife of his. I only hope she’ll be a good mother to Abel. And treat Jax as he deserves.”
Jax shrugged on this but Tara kept reading.
“But wrong as it is. I have this inner war going. I find myself fantasizing about kicking Dr. Knowles to the curb and taking her place. Try as I might I can’t control these thoughts. No matter how inexcusable they are. I find shame in myself for even thinking such things. She’s a good woman and makes him happy. But the more I try and force these ridiculous feelings out of my head. The more I picture those blue eyes of his, the way he smiles, how he is with the people he loves whether it be the departed or living, and to top it all off… He’s an amazing father. Who is often enough unsure of himself. He’s expressed this many of times to his father. He second guesses himself constantly. And that just comes with the territory. It’s sad really I think I’ve fallen for a man that isn’t even aware I exist. It’s a very ME thing to do.”
Jax swallowed back on this and his heart had this odd flutter like sensation.
“The little bitch…” Tara hissed causing the man to rear back as he cut her a ‘what the fuck’ look.
“Jesus Tara, why the hell would you say that?”
“Don’t you see?”
He shook his head puzzled as fuck.
“She’d plans of stealing you away all along!”
Jax started laughing.
“That’s what you got from that? Jesus Christ, Tara! She mentioned no such thing! And it’s rather hard to steal someone away from someone that wasn’t there to begin with!” But as he said this he thought of the irony on what he’d told his wife this morning.
“I was always there for you!”
“THE FUCK YOU WERE!”
And he’d truly meant it. He knew without a shadow of a doubt if “Bella” had truly come into the picture when he was with Wendy or Tara. She would’ve had him wrapped around her little pinkie. Neither woman would stand a chance. And wrong as it was, it wouldn’t have been Ima he had cheated on Tara with if that were the case. He grew hard in thought and cleared his throat, doing his best to push those idiotic thoughts out that twisted mind of his.
He drew back a breath and nodded upon Tara.
“So what’s this shit about you being seen with Wendy?”
Tara cut him a rather puzzled look. One he knew all too well. He rolled his eyes, waiting for it.
“What are you talking about?”
He half laughed.
“I saw that one coming. You haven’t changed a bit, have you?”
“Look wherever your information came from. It isn’t true. You know how I feel about Wendy.”
He nodded and inched his way over. He did this until he had her up against the wall. Jax tilted his head and caressed her cheek. He took the journal from her hold and tossed it onto the bed. Tara had this whole panting thing going and wishful look in her eyes. Jax pressed himself against her and brushed his lips against hers.
“Tara…” he whispered just as he used to when they made love.
But she was quick to gasp out as he had a hand wrapped around her throat. His lip was curled as he pressed his forehead against hers. Tara fought to catch her breath and wrapped her hands around his wrists.
“Don’t lie to me Tara. We’re not in high school anymore, darlin’.”
“Jax…” She whimpered with a look of absolute shock.
“Answer the fucking question…”
“You’re hurting me!”
“Good…” he said with a snarl.
“You had better answer me…”
“I just wanted to see what she knew.” Tara cried.
“Knew about what?” He practically hissed.
“Since she was the one that told me about you getting married in the first place; I thought she could tell me more about her…”
Jax nodded and loosened his grip, but didn’t budge.
“You’re the ex, Tara… Don’t you get it? And how messed up is that? You’d willingly stoop to that level? Befriend someone you hate in order to gain information about the new woman in my life?! My ex-wife no doubt! Jesus! Just who the fuck are you?!”
He shook his head growing angrier by the moment.
“So let me get this straight. You left because you didn’t want me or Abel ruining your life. You had what you wanted all figured out. Hell, you even had an abortion in order to make certain you hadn’t any ties to me whatsoever! So why the fuck are you here now? You don’t want me or Abel, you never did!”
“That’s a lie! It was you that wouldn’t budge! You kept breaking your promises. You kept saying over and over that we were going to pack up and leave this all behind us! But you always had some sort of excuse for staying. I can’t yet Tara, The MC.. my mother, they need me” she mocked.
“So that’s what you wanted… For me to pack it all up and focus solely on you and Abel. Fuck everyone else! I had you therefore I didn’t need the MC, my friends, or family! Right?”
“THIS ISN’T A FAMILY, JAX! THIS IS A LIVING HELL! AND YOU THINK I’M CRUEL? I’M NOT THE ONE BRINGING ANOTHER CHILD INTO THIS MESS! IF SHE WERE SMART SHE’D DO LIKE ME AND GET OUT WHY SHE CAN!”
He gritted his teeth and quickly twirled her about. He forced her hand into a snapping position.
“I could ruin you. Right here. Right now. Have you kissing that medical career of yours goodbye! All it takes is one little… snap!”
She screamed out as he gave her a slight scare by bending her hand in an awkward position.
“Take the doctor out of your name and you’re nothing. At least if I was to rip my patches off. I’ve got something. Something real… You can’t even say that! You want me to feel some sort of guilt in choosing to follow my own dreams instead of yours? Well the hell with you Tara. I found someone that shares those dreams and loves me for who I am. She doesn’t make me feel like a WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! With you I was constantly second guessing myself. You tore me down Tara! Whereas Angel… She builds me up and that’s how it should be! On both ends! So I’m just going to say this and I’m only going to say it once. I want you to leave Charming and never show your face here again. If you so much as stop for gas in this town and I find out about it; I will hunt you down. I will take this precious hand of yours and rob you of everything you hold dear to you. I will make certain you never work in the operation again! Come near my wife again Tara and I won’t hesitate. I will fucking KILL YOU! Now get out!” The man drew back a breath… “oh and Tara…”
The woman paused with her back to him as she was heading out of the room.
“I’m going to forget you ever existed. So you had better make certain I never see your ass again.”
Once Tara left, he plopped down on the bed. Angel’s scent hit him and he found himself leaning into her pillow and breathing it in.
“Damn…” he murmured as it had him feeling somewhat frisky.
Jax looked to the journal beside him in thought. He hadn’t any idea she felt that way about him before she came into the picture as Abel’s nanny. Sure she admitted to finding him intriguing and hot but he hadn’t a clue it went any deeper than that. And wrong as it was… he found himself wanting to know more. He picked the journal up and ran his fingers along it. The man thought back to the journal he kept back at the clubhouse office. It was an odd feeling knowing his old lady kept one as well. He took a cigarette out from his vest and lit it with his zippo. He found himself opening the journal and to the very first page. He couldn’t believe there was nearly three years’ worth of writing in this thing. But sure enough, he looked to the date and shook his head. It was all here… From the day she first arrived in Charming and so on.
Charming… That name couldn’t be further from the truth. I thought the Cullens were corrupt and full of themselves. It seems as if everyone here has some sort of secret. Destructive ones that could ruin if not end the lives of the very ones they claim to love. Or in some cases… they already have. Guilt is what brings a majority here.
Jax nodded amongst himself knowing she meant the cemetery.
It’s like the saying goes. You don’t know what you got, until it’s gone. That seems to be the case for most of the residents of Charming. At times, I feel as though I’m sitting in the confession booth of a Catholic church. And often enough, I find myself biting my cheek to the point of drawing blood in order to keep my mouth shut. The things you learn…
Things such as – little white lies – to big ole ones, betrayals, drug addictions, sex addictions, infidelity, and murder. Yes, murder seems to be a bit of a problem in this town. And I thought Forks had its secrets. Charming is nothing in comparison. These people often enough make me question my own sanity. I find myself thinking things like what’s the fucking point?
Why not end it all right here, right now? I fantasize about the various ways of dying. And find it somewhat of a blessing. Or even better… To forget I ever loved at all. There are times I find myself praying to GOD for death’s wonderful embrace. I’d do whatever it takes to end my suffering and have my father and little girl back. What I wouldn’t give…
Why be a part of a world that isn’t aware of my existence? Funny, the things you find yourself thinking about when all you have is time on your hands. Everyone’s living their lives. It’s as if I already died. The world is merely going on without me. And I know I’m fucking selfish because it PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF!
The thoughts I have… It can’t be normal! But I cannot control them. I feel as if my life is of no importance. If I were to die, the tag on my toe would indeed read ‘Jane Doe’. And that scares the living SHIT out of me! Here I am scribbling these words down about loneliness and death… All lies… If anything…
My biggest fear is being alone.
Jax narrowed his eyes on that last sentence, realizing they shared the same fear. In fact there were a lot of similarities between the two of them. He didn’t see her as being crazy or selfish as she put it. If anything he understood wholeheartedly.
At least it used to be… But I believe I’d rather face that fear than to take another chance. It’s better than the alternative – having my heart ripped out all over again. I’ve casted myself out from society. And all in order to keep people I’ve never met before, safe. Yet, I question who it is I’m protecting exactly…
The guy who took the life of his best friend in order to have his girl all to himself?
The woman who has spent the last four years sleeping with her husband’s brother?
Or is it the one that keeps shooting up, even though her husband has told her if she ever doped up again he’d be gone.
Jax swallowed back on this. He found himself wondering if it was Wendy she was referring to. If so it was before Abel was even in the picture.
Then there’s the guy that was here last week… No one knows he beat his wife to death in order to keep her silence on a deal gone bad.
Why am I doing this?
I loved ‘him’ so much. I gave him my all. And in return he took everything. He exists, whereas ‘she’ no longer does. You see I killed that bitch. She was pathetic, weak, and deserved to die. So onto my damnation.
I had it coming, right? I mean here I am judging these people, when I’m no better. It’s because of me; my father and little girl are no more. I deserve whatever comes my way. I will endure it. And hope that in return, God will grant me my one wish. That he will put an end to my suffering. Let me die…
Jax closed his eyes and a knot formed within the back of his throat. “Jesus, baby…” he whispered.
He wanted to read more but after reading that? All he could think about was hurrying home. So he pocketed the journal and headed on out the door.
Jax entered the door and tossed his keys onto a nearby table. He narrowed his eyes as he could smell the food coming from the dining room. When he entered the room he saw the candles, heard the music softly playing in the background, and saw two plates and wine glasses set out. There was cake in the middle of the table. It read Sorry your honeymoon was Tarable. He chuckled and shook his head.
“Alright, Angel darlin’…” he called out.
“Oh it’s you…” he heard her reply as she was making her way over from the kitchen.
He raised his brows as she was in a naughty little white number.
“…ho-ly shit…” he muttered under his breath.
“I was expecting Tig…” She taunted.
“The hell you were…”
He reached out and grabbed her hand. He pulled her in close. Jax had been dying to breathe her in ever since he picked her scent up off the bed. His eyes practically rolled back as he buried his nose into the crevice of her neck. There was something about her. She wasn’t wearing any perfume. It was her natural scent. But every time he caught just the slightest whiff, he found himself hard as hell. He’d been with hundreds of women and his ‘Angel’ was the only one to ever have that effect on him.
All he could picture at the moment was taking that stupid cake and tossing it across the room. He wanted his wife on that fucking table with her legs spread so he could give her a proper tongue fucking. There’s only one thing I wanna eat. He thought behind a growl of utter misery.
“Sit…” she ordered as she had a hand against his chest and seated him in a nearby chair.
He cocked a brow and ran a hand along her ass as she went to walk away. He cleared his throat once she left the room. She returned with the food and sat it on the table. His mouth watered seeing as how it was actual steak, potatoes, and rolls. Angel filled their plates and took a seat across from him.
“Steak for dinner? I hope there’s pussy for dessert.” He teased with a wink.
Angel laughed as he was cutting into that steak of his. She even had it fixed to his pleasing. He narrowed his eyes in thought.
“How’d you know I like it medium rare?”
She shrugged and took a forkful into her mouth.
“Damn…” He murmured as the steak practically melted in his mouth.
He shook his head in thought.
“There’s just gotta be something.”
“Something?” she inquired curiously.
“Come on babe. You’re sexy as hell, great with kids, hot in the sack, a complete bad ass, and you cook and clean. Is there anything you can’t do?”
She cut him a serious look.
“I can’t crochet…”
He sighed as if truly upset by this news. He took a sip of the beer she’d poured into his wine glass knowing he wasn’t big on wine.
“I knew there had to be something. Might have to get this marriage annulled.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Me too. I was hoping you could make us some new SAMCRO vests.”
Angel snorted on this.
“And now our children will never have those little booties!”
“Life is such a bitch!”
“I know, right?”
Jax knew he needed to tell her about the house and Tara. But he was tired of everything getting in their way. So he decided it could wait. Besides, he was home now. He needed to leave the MC business back at the clubhouse. And to him, Tara was nothing more than that. As he ate he got this mischievous grin.
“What are you up to now, Jax?”
He raised his brows on this and finished chewing on the steak in his mouth.
“I just remembered we have a porno to watch.”
“You have a one track mind. You know that?”
“Look at what you’re wearing and say that shit again.”
She had that kittenish smile of hers going.
“Fuck…” he murmured as stuffed another piece of steak into his mouth.
Once he finished his plate, he regarded his wife in thought.
“Were you really aiming for my head when you threw that chair?”
“Thought we were keeping it real…” she uttered darkly.
He folded his arms about his chest and leaned back as she finished eating.
“You do realize I was bluffing?”
“You do realize I knew you dodge the chair in time?”
Jax couldn’t help but to smirk.
Angel cleared the dishes off the table. When she returned Jax was smoking a cigarette and using the ‘Tara’ part of the cake to dump his ashes on.
“We were gonna eat that.”
He shrugged his shoulders and stabbed the bud of his cigarette into the name. He motioned her over and pulled her into his lap.
“I’ve got something else in mind…” He whispered as he kissed along her neck.
Jax reached over and dipped his finger into the untainted part of the icing. He wiped the icing off his finger and onto her bottom lip. Where he proceeded in licking it off and was eagerly kissed her. He let out a moan as she rocked herself against him. She gasped out as he placed her on the table. He slid her panties off and used his finger to spread some of the icing along her sex. He licked the icing up and buried his tongue into her slit. He hadn’t a care in the world at the moment. The taste alone had him rubbing against his cock through his jeans.
“Shit Angel, you’re gonna make me cum my fucking pants!” He wasn’t lying either.
Picking her scent up at the old house earlier already had him in overdrive. And burying his nose into that pink pussy of hers only had him over the edge. She was the only woman that could throw the outlaw off his fucking game. And the only one that could make him cum without so much as fucking her. He growled out as he could taste her release. This had him cumming like a 16 year old boy. There was no stopping it.
“Jesus…” he murmured.
“If you ever tell anyone you have the power to make me cream my fucking pants like that, I’ll have to kill you.”
“Now Jax, would you really go and kill off the best sex of your life?” She taunted.
He sighed on this as he helped her off the table.
“You’re right. I’d just find an abandoned building somewhere and hold you prisoner.”
He chuckled and scooped her up, carrying her into the bedroom. He tossed her onto the bed and rushed over to the TV. Angel laughed as he put the porno on and dashed back over. He plopped himself down on the bed. Jax rolled onto his side and pressed himself against her as the porno started. It started with him laying her on the bed and removing her jeans and panties. Then he tore through her blouse and bra. He grinned as he started eating her out.
“Hmmm… history replays itself!” He teased and kissed along her shoulder.
Angel giggled as she felt him throbbing against her. The porno zoomed in and showed Jax’s tongue working on that clit of hers. Jax found himself breathing her in all over again. Jax reached around, fingering her as they continued to watch.
“Hands and knees, baby.”
Once he had her positioned the way he wanted he unfastened his pants and brought himself out. Then slammed into her. This way they could both watch as he fucked her from behind.
“Fuck. I love watching you suck me off!” He called out as he pumped himself within her.
He had the sound turned up so he could hear her moaning. And it only added to it as he had her going in stereo with the porno. There was something about watching from a different perspective. He loved the lively show of those tits and the way her pussy perfectly molded against his cock. It was official, his old lady was truly the hottest fucking porn star he’d ever seen or fucked. Jax pulled out and spread her lips apart as he marked his territory. He loved the way his cum was dripping off her and onto the bed.
She spun around and he raised his brows as she licked him clean. Something came over him and he found himself wiping the cum from her pussy onto his finger. He placed it into her mouth. Jax moaned out as he felt her tongue along his finger drinking it up.
“Hmmm,” he hummed in utter satisfaction.
“I was wrong…”
Angel rose off his chest and cut him a baffled glance.
Jax sighed as he ran his fingers along the slope of her back.
“What I said back at the club; when you told me about Tig. Hell the moment the words left my mouth I cringed on the inside. I sounded just like ‘him’. I swear it’s like the gavel’s already taking over baby. The things I say and do. It honestly scares the shit out of me!”
“You’re nothing like him.”
He shook his head in disagreement.
“That’s the shit I used to hear him say to mom. The same shit I vowed to never say to someone I loved.”
Angel rose and sat beside him, curling her legs up beneath her as she did.
“We all make mistakes. And look at it like this. You caught it without having anyone else point it out. That’s a good sign.”
“Angel… I gotta be honest…” he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“This could change who I am… And I could lose everything in the process.”
She smiled and took his hand.
“I won’t let that happen. I’m right here. Just think of me as your wing-woman.”
“Wing-woman, huh?” He said with a chuckle.
She nodded and brushed a strand of hair from his eyes.
The young woman drew back a breath knowing she had a confession of her own.
“I owe you an apology as well.”
He narrowed his eyes on this.
“I never thought about your feelings… regarding your ex-wife and all. I’m so sorry, Jax. That was such a shitty ordeal and I…”
He shook his head and put a finger to her lips shushing her.
“I won’t lie. Not the way I wanted it to go. But if it truly came down to losing Abel or even you, then I’d have ended up killing Wendy myself.” He sighed in thought.
“I cared about Wendy. But our marriage…” Jax sort of laughed and grabbed a cigarette off the nightstand.
“It was one of convenience more than anything. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I proposed.”
Jax thought back to Angel’s entry in her journal. About being alone… And that right there was his reasoning behind a lot of things he used to pull. Fucking whatever pussy he pleased, marrying Wendy, and drinking himself to oblivion.
His brows arched as he smoked his cigarette.
“Do you now?”
She smiled and lay beside him. Angel ran her hand along his chest.
“You weren’t used to fucking someone you actually cared about. So you felt this sense of duty in a way. So the one way to show that, was by making it official. Part of you felt as if you owed her something. And in return you hoped that hollow feeling would go away. Only it never did. Neither did hers… I’ve a feeling she agreed for the same reason you proposed to begin with. Before long, she started doping up again, because even you couldn’t feel that void… And once you found out. It made you resentful. So you were never home. Making her bitter in return… and we know how it played out from there. It’s like taking two terminally ill people and forcing them to count on one another and make it work. That’s not a marriage, Jax. You have t..”
She sort of laughed as she trailed off.
“What the hell am I talking about? I’m the last person that should be giving anyone marriage advice or telling them what went wrong.”
He shook his head in disagreement as he put his cigarette out.
“Actually, that was scary as hell. Everything you said was spot on.”
“Yeah, but I totally went all Dr. Phil on you.”
Jax had a good laugh on this. He grabbed ahold of her and pulled her into his chest.
“I love you, baby.”
She smiled as he kissed her forehead.
“I love you too, Jax.”
Angel and Jax rolled over as their cellphones simultaneously sounded that morning.
“Hey…” they chorused as they answered.
They looked to one another with a slight smile.
“Mom!” Jax hollered as she was already yelling in his ear about something.
“Jesus. Just calm the fuck down.”
Angel cut Jax an odd look but was busy with her own ordeal at the moment.
“Hey I was wondering if you’d seen Lyla.”
“Um no… why?”
Opie sighed on the other line.
“She didn’t come home last night. Maybe she had to pull an all-nighter or something.”
“Have you tried calling her?”
“It goes straight to her voicemail.”
“Have you been to the studio?”
He made an odd sound and Angel tilted her head in wonder.
“Hell, I can’t go back there lil sis…”
The way he said this had her startled.
“What do you mean you can’t go back there?”
“I just can’t…”
“I think I fucked up. I said some stupid shit. Things I can’t take back. But this whole porn ordeal…”
“Jesus Op, you can’t be serious. You knew this about her when you took that step!”
“Trust me, I know.”
“Look, I’ll go see if she’s there. But I’m gonna be straight with you. You either learn to deal. Or get the fuck out, before you end up hurting her and yourself in the process.”
Jax was catching bits and pieces of Angel’s conversation as he was dealing with his mother. Apparently, Piney had ratted him out about his little Tara remark and Gemma wasn’t having it.
“I can’t believe you! What were you thinking! Comparing OUR GIRL to THAT BITCH! I know I didn’t drop your ass as a child! So you haven’t any excuses there! I swear to God if you fuck this up…”
“Mom! I need you to chill the fuck out. You gotta trust me on this…” he did his best to hint.
Angel reared back on Jax’s words. He rubbed that beard of his and was shaking his head in misery. Once they finished their conversations they hung up and looked to one another.
“Another long day…?” Angel questioned with a smile.
He sort of laughed.
“Hell darlin’, is there anything else?”
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