Warning: This is going to come off as rambling, and all over the place! For that, I apologize ahead of time. I just have a lot on my mind regarding my personal life. Some issues have hit, way too close to home, and I’m worried about one of my loved ones. So, I’m a little bit emotional as I write this.
I’ve officially started the prequel to A Girl Named Jack. This one will be called Augustus Fall. This will contain the back story on Jack Brady’s biological parents. These two novels, of course, will take some time to write as well as get ready to edit/publish/sell/whathaveyou (hopefully on Amazon).
I will let everyone know what author’s name the novels will be under, when the time comes. Just keep in mind this will take me a year or so (if not more) to achieve. I will be taking breaks in between to read as well. I’ve grown quite fond of J.R Ward and Sherrilyn “McQueen”. This way I won’t burn myself out as I did with fanfiction. I don’t see that being an issue, as I won’t be forced into writing MORE BELLA. I wrote sooo many Twilight crossovers with her that it became monotonous. So much so, I was forcing myself to continue when it came to my other stories.
I took a lot of requests, more than I could handle. Some of which came from close friends at the time (or used to be – not going into all that hell). I felt taken advantage of. The ones doing the requests stopped responding to the stories – as in giving them likes or reviews when they were the ones to personally request the story. It left me bitter and left me not wanting to carry on with those particular ones. My apologies to those that have been waiting for certain ones to continue. But as many of you know, you cannot force these things or it will show. Writing should be fun when it starts to feel like a chore, you soon dread – it’s time to move on to other things.
I have been called a liar, unfriended, unfollowed – you name it. All because I won’t be diving into fanfiction as much.
Let’s just make one thing clear. I never meant to lie. When I said I was going to finish all my stories, I meant it. I truly did, at the time. But fallouts/betrayals with (so-called) “friends” happened, my health declined, as well as other personal events, I did not foresee. Because of those things, I grew extremely depressed. My anxiety grew ten times worse than it ever was, and couldn’t get out of my funk, no matter what I did. It was then I stepped back. I realized I was depressed because I kept going out of my way to do what everyone else wanted, or what they expected of me. That seemed to be the basis of a few friendships as well. It was always me breaking my back to please others.
It was never about what I wanted or needed. It was about everyone else, and that’s how I got burned out.
Honestly, just the thought of writing anything with Bella Swan again, and with the actress, I was using… Makes me nauseous, for personal reasons. I do not have an issue with Emmy Rossum. She’s amazing! And it’s not that I don’t appreciate or love the fanfiction I wrote. I most certainly do. They got me through some very dark times, and all those characters, even Bella was there for me when I needed an escape. That is something I could never regret.
I also made some wonderful friends over the years. Yes, I was burned by a few in the past, but soon learned who my real friends were. They are there rain, or shine, no matter. Friends I wouldn’t replace for anything. That’s not to say I don’t have some trust issues still. I’m very cautious about what I say and do around others. All this leads back to the worst kind of betrayal, and having people talk shit behind your back when you always defended them behind theirs.
I even enjoy going back and rereading some of my old fanfiction, aside from all the glaring mistakes that make me cringe. I’ve certainly grown over the years. And though I have a lot to learn still… I’m ready for the challenge. I know it’s going to be literal hell getting to that finish line, but I’m stubborn and determined. I don’t give up easily.
Things have changed a lot in the five years of writing fanfiction. My taste for one. Readers taste as well. The lack of reviews/commenting.
You know, there seems to be a lack of respect for how much time a writer puts into these chapters, and in the end, that’s what led to my decision. I’m not saying I’m done with fanfiction. But I’m certainly not diving back, anytime soon. I had my heart ripped out through it, and it’s a wound I don’t wish to go back to. I need some time to heal, and I need some time to do what I want for a change.
Robin Amanda, unless she declares otherwise, will be doing the cover art for these futuristic novels, as well as helping me get everything else situated. I will be paying her, of course. I want to make that perfectly clear that even though she’s my friend, aka sister from another mister. I would never expect these things for free. NEVER! These things take a lot of time and energy. I respect that one hundred percent. She was there for me when I was betrayed, and when others weren’t. Robin has been my anchor when I doubted myself. I’d be lost without that woman. Absolutely lost. She will be tagging along on this journey, even if I have to drag her along. 😉
Like I have said many times before, I’m nervous yet excited all the same. I’m eager to show you guys what I can achieve outside the fanfiction world. Now, I cannot legally use the following actors/actresses on the covers or in the books themselves. But I can show you who I have in mind.
Augustus Fall – Tommy Flanagan
Claire Fall – Kate Beckinsale
Maley Fall – Jackson Rathbone
Jack Brady aka my heroine – Elizabeth Gilles
Robert Brady – Kevin Smith
Rebecca Brady – Anne Heche
Spencer Brady – James McAvoy
Six Xlyander– Tyler Hoechlin
Gauge Xlyander (middle brother) – Tom Ellis
General Xlyander (Six’s oldest brother) – Joe Manganiello
Brent Segal – Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Military counselor – Woody Harrelson
I can’t reveal much more than that.
This will be my version of a novelized comic book. These novels will contain science fiction, adventure, horror, fantasy, suspense, and romance. As well as sex, drinking, smoking, “language”, you name it – pretty much the usual things I tend to write about. Only this time, I will be freer to venture out and make it my own.
As always, my stories are RATED MATURE!
People were asking what I was going to write about, and whom I had in mind for my characters. Well, now you all know.
I will release A Girl Named Jack first, followed by the sequel Augustus Fall.
There will be more stories to come, and more characters will be introduced. I will be writing other background novels to our favorite characters as well.
Wish me luck!
Your beloved clown,